This is Joe's Fault

Monday, October 06, 2008

Kickin' it Old School

Picture it: Windsor, Ontario in the early 1990's. A young woman in the first flush of youth turns on her television to engage in a little passive entertainment. Perhaps to gaze dreamily at Chris in the Morning, or to giggle guiltily at that Corky kid. Suddenly, she spies a channel she's never seen before. It's a channel with music videos playing. Intriguing!

Is it MuchMusic (folks might know it as John Roberts' jumping off point)? Why no, it's much more cutting edge than that! This seems to be a Jukebox channel! It's the latest in interactive multimedia entertainment. For a small fee, you can call in and play the music you want to hear. It's filled with the most god-awful videos today's technology can provide. And they're playing over and over and over again. She can hardly look away...

Ah, the early 90's. Yes, those were wonderful times. With Germany reunited, Apartheid abolished, and the spirit of Glasnost in the air, thoughts turned naturally enough to freedom. Young men began to say "no!" to the tyranny of the tight-fitting pant. The granddaddy of all boy bands roamed the earth unfettered. And biker shorts allowed a generation of girls to do cartwheels while wearing a skirt.

It was in this atmosphere that the idea of a Jukebox channel made it's debut. I don't remember what the one I watched was called, but it was out of Detroit and featured some of the dumbest videos it has been my pleasure to watch incessantly. Sure, the channel offered the odd Cure song (which was more my genre), but mostly it was dance and hiphop. Really, really stupid hiphop (stupid means good, right?).

For years I would make reference to these videos and songs, and for years normal people stared at me blankly. Until now.

I found one of the videos that I would say was the one they played THE MOST on that channel. I give you, "Juicy Got 'Em Crazy":



The other video that simultaneously horrified and cracked me up was called "No Sexx (With My Sister)". I'm pretty sure I'm about the only person other than the performers to remember it, but the ridiculous chorus delighted me to no end. Indeed, for years I called my sister "Sistah, ma sistah... no sex wit ma sistah!" She says she has no recollection of the song or the video and I've been scouring the internets for it for ever. No such luck. I did, however, find out who did it.

Finally! I had the band's name! The Canadian group MCJ and Cool G actually existed, but could I find the video I had so longed to see? Unfortunately, no. I guess I'd just have to make one myself.

I tried in vain to find a copy of just the song, but to no avail. Finally, eBay came to the rescue. I found a copy of their CD for sale for $1.00 USD! Should I risk it? Would it be worth it? I decided that yes, it was. I ordered it, paid four times the price for shipping and waited impatiently for it to arrive.

And was it worth it? I don't know. You tell me. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "No Sexx (With My Sister)":