Fun With (Wrong) Numbers

In this day and age of call display, video phones, mind control rays etc. it's rare that you ever run into the good old fashioned prank phone call anymore. (Thank goodness nature has evolved the telemarketer to take its place.) They were annoying, sure, but sometimes they could be a lot of fun, both for prankster and prankee alike.

I remember when my little hellion friends and I would dial up (yes, back then we had to dial) some hapless victim in the phonebook and pretend that we were from a radio station and ask them trivia questions. If they got it right we would award them some imaginary prize and if they got it wrong we'd say something scandalous like "you're a big dumb-dumb! Guffaw! Hyuh! Hyuh!"

Ah, it was a simpler time then. Some people were nice enough to pretend not to notice our 12 year-old voices and played along, while others yelled and cursed us out angrily. It was win-win really. *sigh* I miss those days. Simple telephone fun like that just couldn't happen nowadays.

Still, there's always wrong numbers, voice mails, and speaker phones. They can be fun, too.

Last Thursday I came into work and listened to my voicemail messages. I had two. The first was from somewhere in Ohio, according to the incoming phone log. It was some incoherent guy who sounded a lot like Billy Dee Williams on tranquilizers. He called at 8:58 pm. to tell me:

"Yeah... This Bon. Leavin'... message for Deniece. (pause) Call me. Buh."

Heh, hard to make out at first but definitely funny. You could so tell he was all drunk and had the wrong number. It took me three or four times through to actually make out that he was leaving a message for Deniece. This despite the fact that he had to listen to my outgoing message that clearly states my name (hint: not Deniece) and the organization I work for (also not Deniece) and specific instructions to incoming callers (none of which refer to Deniece). And what kind of a name is Bon? Like French for good? Kooky, but kinda fun.

Then I listened to the next message. Logged in at 9:44 pm from the same number. Seems he called back almost an hour later to tell me:

"Yeah... B. O. N. E... (pause) Bah."

Oh, your name is Bone! Well, I'll be sure to spell it for Deniece when I see her, Bone.

Now, this isn't exactly the funniest thing in the world on its own. But cranking it up and playing it over the speakerphone in our super quiet office throughout the day when and as needed made me giggle. It went something like this:

[Sound of papers quietly being shuffled around on desks. Light tapping of keyboard keys. Somewhere off in the distance an employee coughs sheepishly, then is silent.]

*beep* *bzzzzz* *beep, beep, beep*

"Yeah... B. O. N. E... (pause) Bah."

*giggle-snicker-hee*

*beep, beep, beep*

"Yeah... B. O. N. E... (pause) Bah."

*oh-ho-ho-tee-hee*

*beep, beep, beep*

"Yeah... B. O. N. E... (pause) Bah."

*guffaw-hyah-hyah*

Ahem. Well, as I say.

Simpler time.