This is Joe's Fault

Sunday, November 28, 2004

These are the Posters in my Neighbourhood

My route to work is fairly quick and simple right now. I walk up two blocks, hop on the King streetcar, ride for about 15 minutes, hop off and walk two blocks to the office. Easy, quick and simple. Still, after a few months any commute gets to be a bit boring and one looks for things to amuse oneself while travelling.

I try to listen to music or read or even jot down ideas to write about (*ahem*) to help pass the time. Sometimes, though, I let the absurdity of marketing or vandals give me a bit of a chuckle.

Every day I pass a printing place that has these great big picture panels that let the world know what they specialize in. For example:



All along both sides of their building they've placed these huge panels. And they've decided to use the age-old marketing ploy of using real employees as their models. How do I know this? Well, let's take a look at one:



Whenever I see this picture as big as life staring at me I always think of the MST3K quip, "this man does things he's not proud of". Having worked fairly closely with the printing industry over the years, I am willing to believe that this guy has spent the best part of the last 20 years or so being yelled at by marketing execs frantic over the exact color in a logo for adult diapers.

If I had to guess I'd say he's musing to himself, "I wonder which Pantone Colour best matches human blood. Well, we'll find out in a minute, won't we?"

The other extreme of featuring an employee who clearly hates all of humanity is the oblivious employee who's perhaps not the brightest star in the constellation, but at least he's happy to be there.



The only other reason I can think of for his demeanor in this picture is that he was told he was going to be the coveted "laminating" guy. I wonder if he was smiling quite so much when he first came into work and found out that his image, much like eating corn or too much cheese, would forever be joined to the word "binding".

However, these other posters would not be so amusing to me if it weren't for this next one, the piece de resistance. Please remember that these posters are at least 6 feet high and stare levelly into the steetcar. The first time I noticed it I was reading and happened to look up just as the streetcar stopped directly beside this particular panel. I turned my head to see where we were and let out an involuntary Edith Prickly-like "Ppp-HA!"



It can't have escaped their notice the double meaning of the word, could it? I mean, take a deep, hard look into this guy's eyes and tell me he's the perfect illustration for fulfillment. I dare you.

Well, anyway, every single day on my way to work I see this guy and it makes me happy. And not just because of the juxtaposition of the image, but because I also don't have to go into a stifling, deadline-driven printing place every day. Praise be!

The other piece of art that gives me a giggle on the way to work involves graffiti. There are a lot of vandals in Toronto, most of them immature, vulgar, or (most frustratingly) illegible. I tend to ignore a lot of it, but every once in a while a well-placed blacked out tooth can really give me a lift. The ones that make me laugh the most are the posters or advertising that I hardly noticed until someone with a marker made me.

Like this one:



Interestingly enough, this is a poster on the side of one of those new condo developments with names like "Nobility Towers" or "Master Race Manors" that I've made reference to before. At least it's nice to know I'm not the only one with an aversion to that kind of thing.

After that I'm pretty much at work, ready to tackle the rough-and-tumble dog-eat-dog world of accounting. Well, okay, as ready as a person can be to tackle the rough-and-tumble dog-eat-dog world of accounting.

Is it any wonder that I snatch at every little bit of joy that I can?