Lame

I woke up this morning laughing. Was I having a particularly funny dream? No. The radio station that I tune to in the morning had a guest on that is by far funnier than the undead cast of laugh machines that people its morning show.

(FYI, I usually turn my alarm to a station that I can't stand so that when my alarm goes off it will motivate me to slap it off instantly, and hopefully create enough ire within me to get my ass up and out of bed right away. It of course never happens and I just end up slapping the thing off about ten times before finally pulling myself out at the last possible second.)

The station that I have my alarm tuned to is so annoying that it already has Christmas music playing 24/7 and it has been since December 1. Usually, though, the playlist includes such artists as Enrique Eglasias, Celine Dion, etc. It's only once in a while that they play a song I can live with, let alone like.

Which brings me to their guest this morning. Jann Arden [link may have sound-don't know - did it at work] was on talking about her upcoming shows in Toronto and I caught the last two minutes of the interview. Now, most of you who read my blog prolly don't know who she is as she's a Canadian artist. She does rather well for herself here, but it's hard to know how she's done in the states. Unlike other Canadian female exports Ms. Arden is not waif-like and does not often resort to midriff baring and dancing behaviour, which of course tends to get more media attention. She relies more on her musical talent and her very quick wit.

Her music is not all pop-y and happy but she is played more often on easy-listening stations rather than on alternative or rock venues because of the smoothness of her music. Although her lyrics are more along the lines of alternative/new rock in my opinion. (One of my favourite lines from a song of hers is "I am not lonely, swear to god, I'm just alone." I hear you Jann. Had to tell more than a few people that in my lifetime.)

Plus, I can sing along quite nicely with Jann. And we all know how I like to sing.

Since I have not updated in 80 million years and I have had no inclination to or really any viable ideas, I thought I would just quote her and let that stand as some sort of lame entry. Fair enough?

Hmm... to set this up, though. Some of you might not get some of this on accounta she's from Saskatoon (or some damn place) and while I got all of her references some of you may not. I'll add links where I think there may be some confusion. Her delivery is usually very deadpan and she tends to adopt a more prairie-like/midwestern accent when she's taking the piss. Also, her concerts are usually just her band and her sitting on a chair with her guitar and chatting with the audience in an entertaining but comparatively low-key way.

So, I hope that helps. Also, this is not a verbatim exchange, it's really what I can remember from having woken up and heard this in a groggy state. There is probably no merit in it at all, come to think of it, but it's either this or another week of nuthin'.

Radio interviewer (zany madcap laughing throughout): So, you're not playing the really big venues like the ACC. How come?
Jann Arden: Who do you think I am? Radiohead? No, I like the smaller more intimate venues, I really enjoy that a lot more and I think my fans do, too.
RI: And how good does that feel, having sold out all of your shows?
JA: Ah, it feels great. I think that all of the choreography that we've added to the show has really gathered interest in it. And seriously, who doesn't want to pay to see me in a studded tube top, eh?
RI: (laughter) Oh, you've got a lot of costumes in the show?
JA: Who doesn't want to see my bare tummy? Oh, yes. I've got a friend in Abbotsford BC who's a stripper (I'm very proud of her. She's won the brass pole dancing competition 4 years in a row!) I've been working with her designer and she's done a lot of great little outfits for me.
RI: (laughter) Do you wear that red outfit like in that Britney Spears video, you know that little red thing that she wears?
JA: Yeeeeees. I do wear it, but I tend to look more like a cocktail weenie in mine.
RI: (laughter)
JA: And then I also come out in a tuxedo that has little snaps on it and half way through "Can I be Your Girl" I rip it off and I'm in this $2 Million dollar… okay, well, it's a $200 dollar bra designed by Canadian Tire."
RI: (laughter) And so you've added dancing to the show, too?
JA: Yes, dancing. We've added four brass poles up at the front of the stage that I writhe on from time to time. And we've added other dancers for when I'm singing. [beat] Well, not really dancers. It's a Brownie pack that I picked up in Abbotsford. They do these little routines in the back there while I sing.
RI: (laughter)
JA: It's so cute. They're working on their smoking patches right now. Some of them are throwing up a lot 'cause, well, you know it's a lot of nicotine for a nine-year-old, but as soon as they work through it and finish their six week program, not only will they NOT want to smoke EVER, they get to sew the little patch on their sash.
RI: (uncontrollable laughter) We love you, Jann! So will you come back in February?
JA: Certainly. Oh, you mean will I come back to this station? Oh god, no. I'll be at other stations, though.
RI: Well, that's good enough for us.

And that was about all I heard. Wish I had caught all of it, but what are you gonna do? Personally, I'd love to go to one of her smaller venue concerts, but as you already know, they're sold out. (Unless Santa has already taken care of that, but I doubt it. That stupid old fuck.)

Anyway, if this post wasn't particularly good, well, cast your eyes up to the name on the title of this blog and you'll know who to blame.

Have a great week!