A Tender Reunion Scene

Me: Hi-diddly-ho, neglect-arinos! I'm back!

You: Well, well, well. Look who's come crawling back to the internet like the cowardly dog she is. What, did the world somehow run out of booze and pills or something?

Me: Hey, don't be that way. I know it's been a while, but you know, I've been really busy with stuff. I really missed you... ?

You: Balls!

Me: Whoa, language. This isn't a pool room, you know. Little kids could be reading this.

You: Oh please, NOBODY's reading this. Look, why don't you just go back to snorting glue out of bread bags in the park, or whatever it was you were so "busy" doing the last three months? Leave the rest of us here enjoying the irony of your last entry title.

Me: Okay, I deserved that. But if you must know, I've been working. Some of us have to work for a living, you know. Rent doesn't just appear in a magic box at the foot of my bed on the third Thursday of every month you know.

You: Why the third Thursday--

Me: Look, it was just a metaphor. Forget it. It's not the point. The point IS, I've gone out and gotten myself a permanent job. At a bank. And it's taking up my time and energy.

You: A metaphor? Jesus, remind me why I read this blog again?

Me: Because it's easier than actually talking to me on the phone?

You: Hm. You've got a point there. Wait, a PERMANENT job? You said it was just going to be a contract thing. Six months and you'd be out.

Me: Well, it was. But then they offered me a permanent position and...

You: And you caved. I'm totally shocked. *sigh* You know what? I'm just tired of the lies.

Me: Oh, what lies?

You: Let's see... where to begin? 1. This is a 'humour' site. 2. I'm going to update every week! 3. I'm going to write about the cool Christmas gifts I got (a year ago!) 4. Me and Harold Ramis are like 'this'.

Me: Hey, I never said this was a humour site.

You: Well, you implied it.

Me: My close, personal friend Harold Ramis' lawyers will be ALL over that one, my friend. It will never hold up in court.

You: Hmph. Friend. Friends don't ignore each other. Friends don't go away for three months without a word, without an update. Halloween has come and gone and you've not given up one crappy pic...

Me: So that's what you want? You want me to embarrass myself with a picture of my lame Halloween outfit? Will that make you happy?

You: Iunno *shrug* Maybe.

Me: Fine. Here.



You: Oh holy mother of god.

Me: I know. I was going to go as the blind chick from Ice Castles, but then I thought that the four other people who saw the movie probably wouldn't be at my party, so then I just went as an accident victim.

You: Is that a... skate in your head?

Me: Yes. It was a death spiral that got out of hand. Look, are we good now?

You: Hm. I don't know. Sure, it's an embarrassing picture, but I don't know if I still trust you. I've been hurt so many times before...

Me: Oh, c'mon. You know you want to forgive me. Look into your heart.

You: I don't know.

Me: Pweeeease? Pwetty pwease? Hm?

You: Oh, I can't stay mad at you, you big lumbering ox! Welcome back!

Me: Yay! Thank you. You won't regret it!

You: So, when can I expect to see a new update?

Me: Oh. Um. New update. You know, heheh, I hadn't even thought about that, really. Well, you know, what with the new job and the working out on a regular basis, etc. Jeez, I don't know... I was thinking once a week or so?

You: *rolls eyes, shakes head and smiles* Here we go again!!