Undergod

[A letter of some importance from a purely hypothetical person.]

Dear makers of the movie poster for the upcoming motion picture Underdog:

Well done guys! Great poster! Fantastic tag line! Satan must be soooo proud!

Yes, that's right, I said Satan. Your evil tricks can't fool me. I saw through your cunning word play right away. (Oh please, don't even try to tell me that you're NOT all devil-worshippers, it degrades us all.) "One nation… under dog"? That's what you decided to go with? Well, all I can say is, I hope you're happy, because God sure won't be when He finally sees it.

How dare you? How dare you think you can get away with this atrocious blasphemy without God figuring it out and damning you to eternal Hell? He's not stupid, you know. He's the guy who INVENTED dyslexia, REMEMBER? You think switching two letters around is going to baffle Him? You're going to have to try a little harder than that to get away with heresy, I’m afraid.

And what, you weren't happy enough slapping God in His righteous face, you also had to go after these glorious United States of America and degrade one of its most solemn and noble ad campaigns? How dare you? We are at war! I can't wait until Dick Cheney arrests you all after monitoring your emails. Let's see how clever you are in Gitmo!

In closing, I would like to stress once again that you have angered our Lord and our Commander in Chief. (Also, I can't imagine the SPCA is any too pleased about your actions, either. I mean, a cape on a dog? What if got it tangled in an escalator? What then, smart guys?)

I sincerely wish for your demise, and subsequent roasting in Hell.

You sicken me,
A Friend