This is Joe's Fault

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Scary! (Part I)

This past weekend my cute boyfriend spent the first day of football season (or something like that, I don't pay much attention really) watching television, so I had some time on my hands. I have a lot of projects I could be working on, so I spent about five hours or so going through the piles and piles (and piles) of photographs that I've let go for the past four or five years. I finally wrote on the backs of them who the people are in them, and what is going on in each one, and put them in order of date.

(My roommate is a huge picture taker and since I've known her my collection of photographs has increased dramatically. My family has never been much for picture taking and hence I tended to just look at them, throw them into a pile, and tell myself "I'll put them in an album later". It's been a huge undertaking, lemme tell ya. I'm still not done. Oy.)

As you can imagine, though, a lot of memories were brought up as a result of looking through these photos. The fun, the laughter, the sweet, sweet booze. So many good times. *sigh*

Anyway, one set of pictures in particular reminded me that I should update the blo--uh, I mean reminded me of something I wrote a while ago. It was after our trip to Cancun in the winter of 2001. I remember it like it was yesterday... *dream sequence squiggles*

We had taken a side trip to Chitzen Itza to visit the Mayan village and pyramid there. (I was particularly excited as I had taken a course in the Prehistory of Meso-America in university.) But it was then that I first had the sensation of being completely and utterly shocked by sudden, overwhelming fear. I mean, I had felt fear before, sure, but never have I had it come out of the blue on me like this.

As you can see, the pyramid doesn't look scary at all. Just a bunch of steps up to the top. Ain't no thang. My plan was to just zip up them, take a look around, take a few pictures and then zip right back down. Even with my quivering, massive hangover it did not look all that daunting. It was about 3/4 of the way up that I started to realize the extreme steepness of the pyramid and had to slow down a bit. My friends had gotten to the top before me and even took a picture. You can't even tell I was starting to get scared (but you can see the crazy damn steepness of the thing. It looks like I'm climbing a wall straight up).

By the time I got up to the top I was drenched with sweat, not from the climb, but with fear. I sat down on the top step and looked down and nearly vomitted. I had to crawl over into the little structure at the top where I could finally stand up. It was there that I proceeded to have a serious, serious talk with myself. It went... a little something... like this:

Me: "What's wrong with you?! You're not afraid of heights! You love roller coasters, you love parasailing and helicopter rides and stuff like that. You are NOT a scaredy-cat. It's just steps for god's sake! Look, the view is beautiful!"

Myself: (looking at view from safety of small sacrifice room) It is beautiful. But see the tops of the trees? See how far below us they are? There are no railings or safety devices of any kind around the edges of this thing. This is not a safe place.

Me: But look at Paula, she's right next to the ledge and SHE doesn't seem to have a problem with the safety of it.

Myself: (looking over at Paula) Oh my god, she's gonna DIE!!!

Me: She IS rather close to the edge... what if someone jostles her and.. okay, I'm gonna stop looking at that now.

Myself: Well, I hope you like this little room, cuz it's where we're living from now on. Ain't no way I'm climbing down.

Me: Oh, don't be ridiculous. If you're such a big baby, there's a rope you can hold on to on the other side. Puss.

Myself: Uh, no. Cuz I'd have to leave this little room and go AROUND THE LEDGE to get to the other side. And that will not be happening today, either. I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Me: You make me sick. The ledge is at least three feet wide. Maybe three and a half.

Myself: Oh yeah, I see no problem there. I'm sure I'll be able to walk safely around without somebody else knocking into me just as I'm turning the corner, causing me to tumble to my gruesome and untimely death. Fuck you. I'm staying here.

Me: Language!

Myself: *gives self the finger*

Me: Oh, real mature. You really don't care what everyone else thinks of you? Look at those little Mexican kids. They're up and down these steps no problem. Have you no pride? No dignity?

Myself: Look, I'm not crying. What more do you want?

Me: A backbone would be nice. Just for a change.

Myself: Hey, suck my dick. I'm trying to keep us ALIVE here.

Me: Oh, classy. Very charming potty mouth you have. Look, rationally you can see that no one else has tumbled to their deaths. In fact, I doubt they'd let moron tourists like yourself up here if there was much danger of that. Correct?

Myself: This is Mexico, okay? They don't have the same regard for liability suits that we do in Canada. I'm sure hundreds of people have fallen from this structure and we've just never heard about it.

Me: *sigh* Fine. We'll stay here forever then.

Myself: Fine with me.

Me: We'll just stay here where there are no margaritas, no sunny beaches to lie on, no cute boys to dance with...

Myself: No margaritas? But... tequila!

Me: *hums nonchalantly*

Myself: Come to think of it, I *am* getting a little parched up here. Oh alright! I'll go down the retardedly steep pyramid, but I'm doing it like the snivelling coward I am, on my ass and holding onto the rope for dear life.

Me: I'm good with that. Let's just go already before you lose your nerve.

I: Can I just interject and say that I'm very proud of us for at least attempting this?

Me & Myself: SHUT UP!

Myself: You're the idiot that got us into this mess in the first place! You're lucky I don't kick your ass right now!

(Twenty minutes of snivelling later, on the ground...)

Myself: Oh, dios querido! We're alive! Did you see that? We did it! We didn't die!!

Me: *dryly* Yeah. We're a regular Laura Croft.

Myself: C'mon, lets find a cantina. I'll buy us a drink. Say, did you see that hot Mexican guy? I wonder how old he is... *dream sequence squiggles*

Well, that was the scary part of my trip to Cancun. Ah, Cancun. Way back when I was young, foolish, and single.

In any event, I hope you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane. Especially because you'll be getting another one next week. Yay!