This is Joe's Fault

Monday, November 15, 2004

Unemployed Again, Naturally

Hello everybody! How are you all? I'm fine, thanks. Been a tad busy lately and I have ignored this blog shamefully. But I'm finally done my temporary assignment and now have a little more time on my hands in order to update. It was supposed to be 6 to 8 weeks and ended up being 4 months.

This was a good assignment, though, as I did truly feel like a help to the people I went to work with and they truly appreciated it. It was a big love-fest when I left, they treated me as though I was a favourite daughter leaving for a long overseas journey. Got a letter of recommendation and cards and taken out for lunch, etc. etc.

See, this is why I like being a temp. I can make a good first impression. The long run, stick-with-it stuff, not so much. Any longer than four months and I would have started to get cranky, bitchy, moody, unhappy and mean. But with temping everybody is still on their best behaviour and I can swallow certain unpleasantnesses of a job if I know that I'll be leaving in two weeks. Once I get a permanent job I start thinking I'll be doing this same meaningless work with these same insane people every day for the rest of my life and I start to get despondent and I lash out.

With temping I come in and get see the Woman Who I'd Be in a Year snapping at people who ask her a simple question or who sighs heavily when you ask her to do her job or freaks out because someone moved the file folder labels to the other side of the desk. And then I thank god that I'm not steeped in unhappiness like that and tra-la-la off to lunch.

You'd think I'd be more accommodating to these types of people as I've been in their same boat, but I'm not. I don't pander to them, I'm not overly nice to them, I'm not mean to them, and most of all I'm not afraid of them. I used to be. I used to let them make me feel bad, but then a coworker quoted something to me once during a conversation that I would like to get embroidered on a pillow or perhaps put on a poster underneath a picture of a kitty. It helped me immensely:

"Quit expecting unhappy people to treat you better than they treat themselves."

I know it's excrutiatingly obvious, but all of the best revelations are, I guess. It helped me to realize that when other people are cranky and mad at work it usually has little to do with me and more with the aching void in his/her soul. It also made me realize that I need to not act like a cranky little kid at work and take out small frustrations on others like it's their fault that I'm stuck there. I know it's unreasonable and childish.

Which is where the temping comes in. Because although I know I should be able to act professional and not let the yawning darkness of a permanent job get to me, I have not actually been able to accomplish this. About two years is all I can handle at a time before I want to kill customer, management and coworker alike for nothing more than their mere existence. And that ain't no way to live.

Anyway, enough of these musings. I'm off during the day on a Monday! That is so exciting! Plus, I'm able to chat on IRC during the day. It's surprising how happy that makes me. Well, "surprising", "sad", whatever.

The point is that I've wanted to type up a bunch of things lately but I've not had the time or inclination. But I will be working on it, promise (I know, you've been hurt before. But I mean it this time).

Well, I'm off to think up more descriptive words for being a secretary. See you soon!