You're Lucky My Chick's Here!

Well, I was going to write something slightly amusing about my neighbourhood, but there is a war gonna start pretty damn soon and so I feel a little bad about ignoring it. Living in Canada I have never had to ever worry about being bombed, even after the whole 9/11 thing. Believe me, I am happy about this and know that I am living in one of the luckiest countries on the planet right now.

I don't know much about politics and, again, thanks to my incredible good fortune in being born here, I have been able to spend very little time paying attention to the silliness of world leaders. Although, lately what I have heard has come off to my (admittedly uneducated) ear like a bunch of grade nines rattling pretend sabres and threatening to beat each other up after school. ("You're lucky the UN's here or I'd've beaten your ass 12 years ago, So Damn Insane!)

I don't know what to think about our Prime Minister's position, though. It strikes me that Canada is trying to be a Bush's true friend, rather than just blindly agreeing with him on all issues. Tony Blair is all like trying to be his best girlfriend telling him he's all great and that his new halter top looks wicked awesome on him and that if the rest of the world doesn't like it, it's just because they're jealous. But I think Chretien is all like "I'm sorry, but you look cheap in that top. Do you want people to think you're a skank?" And Bush is all like, "Whatevar! As if I care what the world thinks! Chuh!"

Ugh, but this analogy is so terribly simplistic and insulting, though. I know it's all a lot more complicated than this. I know that Saddam is an asshole that needs to be taken care of because he beats up on the smaller kids and would so go after the bigger kids given half the chance (even though I know that he does all that because he comes from a pretty fucked up home-life). And I know that Bush is a pretty good guy usually, but he has a tendency to get drunk when he goes out with his friends and start trouble in the bar and expect them to back him up just cuz they're his friends (even though they know he's really being an asshole this time). And I know that Chretien is too nice of a guy and tries to make everyone happy and likes to try to keep the peace before anything starts.

I'm just hoping that all of this ends as quickly and as relatively painless as most schoolyard battles. Water balloon fights usually get a lot of innocent bystanders soaking fucking wet.