Eh-lection Canada

So Canada's in the midst of election fever. Our government needs changing, and we good citizens have to step up and do our, um, duty.

I'm not much of a one for politics. All of my views are ill-informed and sarcastic, seeing as my two main sources for political news are satirical. If it weren't for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Frank Magazine, it's doubtful that I'd know even the little that I do know. Which isn't much.

Still, like Paris Hilton says, it's important to ROCK THE VOTE! Or pick the tallest midget, as my sister so eloquently puts it. This year we've got the incumbent Liberals, who were just involved in a major advertising fraud, the Conservatives who'll do whatever the states want them to do, the NDP who don't know the first thing about running a government, or the Bloc Quebecois - nuff said... The Green Party's looking better and better, I tell you what. Sure, they don't know anything about running a government either, but at least they'll be homemade bread and love beads.

Anyway, since before Christmas our neighbourhood has been bombarded with a certain party campaigning like a bat out of hell. They've come to our door several times, they've got banners and signs everywhere, and I've found them at least two times standing at my streetcar stop in the morning handing out more material. Geez Louise, but they're persistent. Annoying, even.

The other day the kind lady at the streetcar stop tried to hand me yet another brochure for her candidate. I said very politely (considering the time and the fact that I hadn't had any coffee yet), "no thanks, we've got one at home already." She smiled and said okay. Then she thought to ask, "And will you be voting for [candidate]?" Another sweet smile. "No, I don't think so." I replied honestly, with just as sweet a smile. Her smile faded. Beat. "Well, you get the government you elect." Steely glint in her eyes.

Now, I don't want to tell this lady her business, but she might want to look into a different parting shot. Because all this made me do was laugh and think, "Really? So that's how it works." instead of what she wanted me to think which was, "oh no, she's right! We're in this mess now because I DON'T VOTE RIGHT!" I seriously wasn't being combative with her, I simply answered her question before stepping on the streetcar to start my work day. Maybe I just should have said yes to make her happy. After all, that really is a shitty job she's got herself there. And she's not even getting paid for it.

But I think that's what bothers me most (and everyone else) about politicians. It's the cloyingly attentive/petulently childish dichotomy that is so hard to swallow. Just for once, it would be nice if someone came along and said, "hey, I don't know all the answers but I've got this plan here that I think is a good start. I'm not making any promises, but I'll do my best and I'll be held accountable for everything I do." *sigh* That would be sweet.

But no one ever does. It's always the same thing, no matter the party, no matter the politician. It's always promises, promises (apologies to Naked Eyes).

I was thinking about it the other day and it occurred to me that dealing with elected officials is like dealing with recovering drug addicts. They screw up, real bad. But they're sorry, really sorry. They promise to do better this time. Really promise. And you want to believe them. You know it'll be the same thing but you really want to believe that this time it'll be different. So you agree to give 'em another chance. And the next day you wake up and your grandmother's diamond brooch is gone, or you're handing over your natural resources hand over fist. And you feel sick.

Still. You gotta vote, right?