Happy Days Reunion
Alrighty! The last two days I have been trying to emphasize good and positive things. Unfortunately, I haven't been too terribly positive, and I've only seemed to focus on myself. Today I decided to make up a list of ACTUAL good things that have NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with me. For real this time.
Here, then, is my list of really cool things about Nature:
1. Dolphins. They are the only animals that seem to truly give a rat's ass about us humans. (Sure, sure, dogs and cats act like they're our friends, but that's just because we feed them on a regular basis. At the first sign of hunger our furry "friends" will turn on us. When was the last time you heard about an old person found dead and half-eaten by their pet dolphin, huh?) Dolphins in the wild have been known to go out of their way to make contact with humans, to play with us and to even steer us away from danger. They seem to just plain like us and I'm not sure why (maybe because we invented the shiny red ball?) In any event, I'm glad they do and I'm glad they're around.
2. Thunderstorms. Enjoy one while sitting on a covered porch in a rocking chair. Get a comfy blanket and wrap it around you. Close your eyes and just listen. Repeat as necessary.
3. Regenerative tails. How cool is the ability to have your tail snap off when you're being attacked, only to have it grow back again later? Man, if humans had that ability with one or more of their limbs...well, Cops would just be a much more interesting show to watch, that's all I'm saying.
4. The always sweet, always magical cocoa bean. So much good has come from it. Its existence has made many, many people truly happy. And hyper. And fat. And pimply. But mostly happy.
5. Solar and lunar eclipses. Not only are they really cool events in and of themselves, but if you accidentally go back in time when one is scheduled to occur they are really helpful in tricking the natives into thinking that you are in fact a god. (Hint: if you can't swing an eclipse try to have a lighter with you. This might give you demi-god status for a little while. In any event it may distract them long enough for you to steal any large jewels that they may be using to represent their primary deity's bellybutton or eyes or what-have-you. Good luck!)
Well, that was fun! There really are lots of cool things about stuff that isn't about me. Who'da thunk it?
Alrighty! The last two days I have been trying to emphasize good and positive things. Unfortunately, I haven't been too terribly positive, and I've only seemed to focus on myself. Today I decided to make up a list of ACTUAL good things that have NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with me. For real this time.
Here, then, is my list of really cool things about Nature:
1. Dolphins. They are the only animals that seem to truly give a rat's ass about us humans. (Sure, sure, dogs and cats act like they're our friends, but that's just because we feed them on a regular basis. At the first sign of hunger our furry "friends" will turn on us. When was the last time you heard about an old person found dead and half-eaten by their pet dolphin, huh?) Dolphins in the wild have been known to go out of their way to make contact with humans, to play with us and to even steer us away from danger. They seem to just plain like us and I'm not sure why (maybe because we invented the shiny red ball?) In any event, I'm glad they do and I'm glad they're around.
2. Thunderstorms. Enjoy one while sitting on a covered porch in a rocking chair. Get a comfy blanket and wrap it around you. Close your eyes and just listen. Repeat as necessary.
3. Regenerative tails. How cool is the ability to have your tail snap off when you're being attacked, only to have it grow back again later? Man, if humans had that ability with one or more of their limbs...well, Cops would just be a much more interesting show to watch, that's all I'm saying.
4. The always sweet, always magical cocoa bean. So much good has come from it. Its existence has made many, many people truly happy. And hyper. And fat. And pimply. But mostly happy.
5. Solar and lunar eclipses. Not only are they really cool events in and of themselves, but if you accidentally go back in time when one is scheduled to occur they are really helpful in tricking the natives into thinking that you are in fact a god. (Hint: if you can't swing an eclipse try to have a lighter with you. This might give you demi-god status for a little while. In any event it may distract them long enough for you to steal any large jewels that they may be using to represent their primary deity's bellybutton or eyes or what-have-you. Good luck!)
Well, that was fun! There really are lots of cool things about stuff that isn't about me. Who'da thunk it?
posted by Alanis at
8:41 PM
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