White Man's Burden

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It is getting to be sooo hard to be part of the dominant race these days. Nobody understands. Well, except the rest of the white people in the world (which is diminishing every single day, by the way). Everyone is just sooo eager to jump on any little thing that we do.

I mean, we try to be nice. We try to be inclusive. We even go so far as to pepper our speech with ebonics and yiddish, just to let you all know how we 'get it'. But the rest of the races still think we be putzes, yo. And what do we get for our efforts? Jokes about our ability to jump and dance.

Does anybody ever just thank us? Heck, no. I mean, does anybody just pat us on the back, look us in the eye and say, "hey, thanks for colonizing the planet. Good job."? Nope. It's all "you made us slaves, you put us in camps during the war, you're poisoning our rivers and our skies!" Gawd, sometimes it makes me so mad!

We're not perfect, you know. We've still got crosses to bear! And we're under incredible pressure. Sometimes it's hard to know what's best for the entire world, you know? But we're trying, okay? Do you understand "trying"? I mean, we don't tell you how to drive your cab or clean our houses, don't tell us how to run the world!

I...*cleansing breath* I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I guess this whole Michael Richards thing just really got to me, you know. How people can take things so out of context? I mean, hello? He was in character? He's not even racist, I don't know where people are getting that from. The man is a comedic genius, he can't be expected to not yell the occasional racial slur during a performance. Besides, it's stand-up, it has been well documented how brutal it is.

Anyway, he's apologized now and I hope that we can put all of this nastiness behind us and get back to the business of running the planet. Can't we just celebrate the baby Jesus' birthday in peace? Just for once!?

Peace, out.