Confidentially Speaking
When I was a kid I watched The Neverending Story over and over and over again (we got the Movie Network on cable just when the movie was popular - that and The Last Starfighter, which I also watched to death). If I recall correctly, there's a part in it where the hero in the story has to pass between the two Sphinxes. This is perilous because he has to be believe in himself the whole time, no matter how scared he is, or the Sphinxes will see it in his heart right away and destroy him.
I never realized how important that metaphor is in real life until just a few years ago. Because in real life I've begun to realize that the thing that can undo all of my best laid plans the fastest and most completely is my own self-doubt.
Just like the Sphinxes, people can spot confidence (or the lack thereof) in a heartbeat. And, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, other people's reactions to you make a very big difference in your behaviour and feelings about yourself. Confidence breeds confidence. And, oh brother, does that work in the reverse.
Lately I've been trying very hard to be my own cheering section. I've spent a great deal of my life doubting myself and wallowing in self-pity and depression. Do you know how many times a day I say to myself "Alanis, you're such an idiot"? The answer is: a lot. And for really minor things, too. And if you never give yourself a break, how easy do you think it is to give others the benefit of the doubt? Jesus, the amount of people I've called Einstein in a sarcastic way alone...
It's really just in the last twelve years or so (out of the influence of my immediate family) that I've been able to fight this tendency even a little bit and try to be positive and have confidence in myself. But it's slow going and I've still got lots and lots of ground to cover.
I think that's why I avoid spending too much time with my family, not because I dislike them, but because they remind me so much of where I've been and how much further I still have to go. It's like looking in the fun house mirror, i.e. not that much fun and, in fact, a little disturbing.
Because one of the hardest things to do in life is to change yourself. And the older you get the harder it becomes. I just don't want to be one of those people who says, "Well, that's just me, no sense in changing now." Because it IS incumbent upon me to try and change if there's something I don't like about myself. Okay, a thousand things. And the best way to do that is to surround yourself with people who allow you to grow and who you can learn positive habits from.
And you should always take your inspiration where you can find it.
The other day inspiration came with my breakfast. I was opening a packet of Quaker Oats Instant Porridge, feeling a little broyderne, and there it was: a pithy quote just for me. "Positive thinking is something that must be practiced every day."
Man, you're telling me Quaker Oats dude. You're telling me.
Oh, and cool hat, by the way.
I never realized how important that metaphor is in real life until just a few years ago. Because in real life I've begun to realize that the thing that can undo all of my best laid plans the fastest and most completely is my own self-doubt.
Just like the Sphinxes, people can spot confidence (or the lack thereof) in a heartbeat. And, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, other people's reactions to you make a very big difference in your behaviour and feelings about yourself. Confidence breeds confidence. And, oh brother, does that work in the reverse.
Lately I've been trying very hard to be my own cheering section. I've spent a great deal of my life doubting myself and wallowing in self-pity and depression. Do you know how many times a day I say to myself "Alanis, you're such an idiot"? The answer is: a lot. And for really minor things, too. And if you never give yourself a break, how easy do you think it is to give others the benefit of the doubt? Jesus, the amount of people I've called Einstein in a sarcastic way alone...
It's really just in the last twelve years or so (out of the influence of my immediate family) that I've been able to fight this tendency even a little bit and try to be positive and have confidence in myself. But it's slow going and I've still got lots and lots of ground to cover.
I think that's why I avoid spending too much time with my family, not because I dislike them, but because they remind me so much of where I've been and how much further I still have to go. It's like looking in the fun house mirror, i.e. not that much fun and, in fact, a little disturbing.
Because one of the hardest things to do in life is to change yourself. And the older you get the harder it becomes. I just don't want to be one of those people who says, "Well, that's just me, no sense in changing now." Because it IS incumbent upon me to try and change if there's something I don't like about myself. Okay, a thousand things. And the best way to do that is to surround yourself with people who allow you to grow and who you can learn positive habits from.
And you should always take your inspiration where you can find it.
The other day inspiration came with my breakfast. I was opening a packet of Quaker Oats Instant Porridge, feeling a little broyderne, and there it was: a pithy quote just for me. "Positive thinking is something that must be practiced every day."
Man, you're telling me Quaker Oats dude. You're telling me.
Oh, and cool hat, by the way.
posted by Alanis at
8:40 PM
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