Oy, Canada
Is it just me? Or is Canada cursed lately? I was thinking for a while that it was just here in the T dot, but now what with the kerfuffle in Alberta... I don't know what's going on.
It all started with the SARS. No, wait. The e. coli in the water in Walkerton (but okay, that was a while ago). Then the SARS. Now it's summer and we've got to worry about the West Nile disease being carried by the ubiquitous and ever-evil Mosquito (who, if we are to believe the wags writing postcards in Northern Ontario, is our unofficial national bird). Now the cows in the prairies are all going mad and we'll lose so much money and food and there'll be so much waste and more fear-mongering.
Finally, and this is really the nail in the coffin for my home and native land I'm thinking, "Bruce Almighty" (starring Canada's most hideous and unfunny export) has just been released. This ain't good, people. No siree, nuh-un. At this rate, soon our ranking on the list of "Hot Summer Vacation Spots" will be just below downtown Kabul.
I don't know... I'm hoping that this has nothing to do with our decision to opt out of the old Iraq Two-Step this time out. I'd hate to think that there are US operatives out in Saskatoon feeding cows tainted beef, or up in Ottawa feeding mosquitos, I dunno, viruses from the West Nile? (My grasp of the science behind these diseases is a little tenuous, I'll admit.) Or hiding in our own government making them lay off lots and lots of health care workers just before the SARS outbreak making us think that our health care officials are not merely incompetent, but criminally so. (Damned US operatives! Get out of our government, ya fags!)
But ah well. Tough times are nothing new to us Canadians. We'll get through it with as much indifference as we get through everything else, I suppose. I mean, hell. We got through Mulroney's reign and three Austin Powers movies, we can surely see our way through this little patch of hell.
Still, though. "Standing on guard for thee" these days is really hard to do when you're closed up nice and tight indoors, trying really hard not to breathe, and terrified to eat or drink anything you haven't actually produced yourself.
It's testing my true patriot love, I tells ya.
Is it just me? Or is Canada cursed lately? I was thinking for a while that it was just here in the T dot, but now what with the kerfuffle in Alberta... I don't know what's going on.
It all started with the SARS. No, wait. The e. coli in the water in Walkerton (but okay, that was a while ago). Then the SARS. Now it's summer and we've got to worry about the West Nile disease being carried by the ubiquitous and ever-evil Mosquito (who, if we are to believe the wags writing postcards in Northern Ontario, is our unofficial national bird). Now the cows in the prairies are all going mad and we'll lose so much money and food and there'll be so much waste and more fear-mongering.
Finally, and this is really the nail in the coffin for my home and native land I'm thinking, "Bruce Almighty" (starring Canada's most hideous and unfunny export) has just been released. This ain't good, people. No siree, nuh-un. At this rate, soon our ranking on the list of "Hot Summer Vacation Spots" will be just below downtown Kabul.
I don't know... I'm hoping that this has nothing to do with our decision to opt out of the old Iraq Two-Step this time out. I'd hate to think that there are US operatives out in Saskatoon feeding cows tainted beef, or up in Ottawa feeding mosquitos, I dunno, viruses from the West Nile? (My grasp of the science behind these diseases is a little tenuous, I'll admit.) Or hiding in our own government making them lay off lots and lots of health care workers just before the SARS outbreak making us think that our health care officials are not merely incompetent, but criminally so. (Damned US operatives! Get out of our government, ya fags!)
But ah well. Tough times are nothing new to us Canadians. We'll get through it with as much indifference as we get through everything else, I suppose. I mean, hell. We got through Mulroney's reign and three Austin Powers movies, we can surely see our way through this little patch of hell.
Still, though. "Standing on guard for thee" these days is really hard to do when you're closed up nice and tight indoors, trying really hard not to breathe, and terrified to eat or drink anything you haven't actually produced yourself.
It's testing my true patriot love, I tells ya.
posted by Alanis at
11:22 PM
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