It's a Living
I've not really updated my blog very regularly lately. It's a damn good thing that no one reads it or I might feel pressured to do so more often.
Anyway, as alluded to previously, my work moved out to the boondocks early in April. And even though it's been a big adjustment, I'm feeling now that I'm finally settled into our new work space. Initially I hated that I had to go back to commuting for hours a day after having been able to walk to work in five minutes. I got cranky and whiny and started to hate the world. But then I thought to myself, "No, Alanis. You've got to think positively! You've got to think of the bright side. You've got to think in terms of the number five..." Oh yes, it's time for another of my patented Five Things About Stuff(R) lists:
Five Good Things About Working in Mississauga, The Armpit of Suburban Toronto:
1. I Vant to be Alone I have my own office! For the first time in my life, I've got an office that has walls that go all the way up and has a real door and everything. You know what this means don't you? It's a validation of all the hard work I've done over the years, a symbolic rite of passage to a higher level of professionalism and maturity, an achievement worthy of an executive. Plus, I get to chat online to my friends all day and play on the web and stuff without anyone sneaking up on me. Sh-weet!
2. Shake Your Money-Maker In the heart of the bleak industrial hell that is my company's new neighbourhood there exists a cultural oasis. Right next door to our building there is a pulsating beacon of betassled hope where tired truckers and beleaguered warehouse workers can go to forget their blue-collar blues and remember love: Marilynn's - Exotic Dancing for Gentlemen Only. What awaits inside? The clever, Wilde-esqe sign says it all: "Ex, Jugs and Rock n' Roll". What more could one ask for?
Ah, it's so wonderful to be surrounded by art.
[Note to my friends in foreign lands: in this instance "Ex" refers to Molson Ex beer.]
3. Honk if you love x chromosomes Now that the weather is nice I can take a short, dust-filled walk over to one of the many fast food places along the main highway for lunch. If ever a girl is feeling a little down about her physical attractiveness I would recommend one of these walks. Truckers (much like their construction worker counterparts) are a sensitive, giving people, full of appreciation for the beauty in all women. In fact, most truckers will honk at any female regardless of age, race, physical appearance, and, sometimes if they're not careful, even gender.
Now, a person might complain that such attentions as these are not really valuable, as the indiscriminate nature of this attention renders it virtually meaningless. But I say pshaw to that! Who but the most hardened of creatures cannot fail to be charmed at a honk and a gesture that conveys an honest "I have noticed that you have breasts, and, if given the chance, I would do unspeakably filthy things with them"? Why, you'd have to be a dyke not to appreciate such fulsome praise, now wouldn't you?
4. Ride the Rocket Instead of complaining about my commute (like I normally would do), I've found a way to appreciate it. Other people plod to work every day, half asleep, miserable and cursing the day they were born. Not so with me! My commute is an exciting adventure everyday! I get to ride with a person who routinely talks on the phone while driving her stick shift and veering in and out of three-lane traffic. In between all of this we listen to a book on tape while she sips her coffee, checks her makeup in the mirror, and narrowly avoids colliding with minivans and 18-wheelers. All of this activity makes for a lively drive and I routinely arrive at the office shaking, wide-eyed and, most of all, just happy to be alive.
5. That's Good Eatin' Truckers: They work hard, they play hard and they eat hard. The business men and women in my neighbourhood know this and have responded accordingly. That's why you'll find quality food at low, low prices. For instance, there's a Steak Restaurant near my work that boasts a 16 oz steak for a paltry $9.99 (that includes potato and "salad"). What an amazing deal! You see, restaurants inside the city have to worry about pesky meat quality standards, and oftentimes balk at serving pieces of food the size of your head. Not so in Mississauga! Patrons are invited to sit back, unhinge their jaws, and taste the unregulated excitement!
And there you have it: my new work neighbourhood. I hope you've enjoyed hearing about it's subtle nuances as much as I have enjoyed daydreaming about winning the lottery and never having to work again. Heh, that reminds me of a "Deep Thoughts. By Jack Handy": It's easy to daydream about winning the lottery. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's so easy... just sitting there, wanting that money.
Anyway, sorry about ending my post with another person's joke. Enjoy your day! See you soon! Hugs and kisses!
I've not really updated my blog very regularly lately. It's a damn good thing that no one reads it or I might feel pressured to do so more often.
Anyway, as alluded to previously, my work moved out to the boondocks early in April. And even though it's been a big adjustment, I'm feeling now that I'm finally settled into our new work space. Initially I hated that I had to go back to commuting for hours a day after having been able to walk to work in five minutes. I got cranky and whiny and started to hate the world. But then I thought to myself, "No, Alanis. You've got to think positively! You've got to think of the bright side. You've got to think in terms of the number five..." Oh yes, it's time for another of my patented Five Things About Stuff(R) lists:
Five Good Things About Working in Mississauga, The Armpit of Suburban Toronto:
1. I Vant to be Alone I have my own office! For the first time in my life, I've got an office that has walls that go all the way up and has a real door and everything. You know what this means don't you? It's a validation of all the hard work I've done over the years, a symbolic rite of passage to a higher level of professionalism and maturity, an achievement worthy of an executive. Plus, I get to chat online to my friends all day and play on the web and stuff without anyone sneaking up on me. Sh-weet!
2. Shake Your Money-Maker In the heart of the bleak industrial hell that is my company's new neighbourhood there exists a cultural oasis. Right next door to our building there is a pulsating beacon of betassled hope where tired truckers and beleaguered warehouse workers can go to forget their blue-collar blues and remember love: Marilynn's - Exotic Dancing for Gentlemen Only. What awaits inside? The clever, Wilde-esqe sign says it all: "Ex, Jugs and Rock n' Roll". What more could one ask for?
Ah, it's so wonderful to be surrounded by art.
[Note to my friends in foreign lands: in this instance "Ex" refers to Molson Ex beer.]
3. Honk if you love x chromosomes Now that the weather is nice I can take a short, dust-filled walk over to one of the many fast food places along the main highway for lunch. If ever a girl is feeling a little down about her physical attractiveness I would recommend one of these walks. Truckers (much like their construction worker counterparts) are a sensitive, giving people, full of appreciation for the beauty in all women. In fact, most truckers will honk at any female regardless of age, race, physical appearance, and, sometimes if they're not careful, even gender.
Now, a person might complain that such attentions as these are not really valuable, as the indiscriminate nature of this attention renders it virtually meaningless. But I say pshaw to that! Who but the most hardened of creatures cannot fail to be charmed at a honk and a gesture that conveys an honest "I have noticed that you have breasts, and, if given the chance, I would do unspeakably filthy things with them"? Why, you'd have to be a dyke not to appreciate such fulsome praise, now wouldn't you?
4. Ride the Rocket Instead of complaining about my commute (like I normally would do), I've found a way to appreciate it. Other people plod to work every day, half asleep, miserable and cursing the day they were born. Not so with me! My commute is an exciting adventure everyday! I get to ride with a person who routinely talks on the phone while driving her stick shift and veering in and out of three-lane traffic. In between all of this we listen to a book on tape while she sips her coffee, checks her makeup in the mirror, and narrowly avoids colliding with minivans and 18-wheelers. All of this activity makes for a lively drive and I routinely arrive at the office shaking, wide-eyed and, most of all, just happy to be alive.
5. That's Good Eatin' Truckers: They work hard, they play hard and they eat hard. The business men and women in my neighbourhood know this and have responded accordingly. That's why you'll find quality food at low, low prices. For instance, there's a Steak Restaurant near my work that boasts a 16 oz steak for a paltry $9.99 (that includes potato and "salad"). What an amazing deal! You see, restaurants inside the city have to worry about pesky meat quality standards, and oftentimes balk at serving pieces of food the size of your head. Not so in Mississauga! Patrons are invited to sit back, unhinge their jaws, and taste the unregulated excitement!
And there you have it: my new work neighbourhood. I hope you've enjoyed hearing about it's subtle nuances as much as I have enjoyed daydreaming about winning the lottery and never having to work again. Heh, that reminds me of a "Deep Thoughts. By Jack Handy": It's easy to daydream about winning the lottery. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's so easy... just sitting there, wanting that money.
Anyway, sorry about ending my post with another person's joke. Enjoy your day! See you soon! Hugs and kisses!
posted by Alanis at
1:08 PM
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