Totally Random Tuesday
The other day (okay, like a month ago) my cute boyfriend and I went to a Blue Jays' game with some friends. It was cool because they had these tickets for dinner in the restaurant and then really good seats right close to the action and all it cost us was a couple of rounds of ridiculously over-priced beer.
Now, I'm not much of a sports fan and I find baseball boring as hell to watch. But it's fun to go with friends and to watch the spectators, the between-play entertainment, and little kids watching the game and having so much fun. (And if none of that does it for you, may I suggest some ridiculously over-priced beer?)
Anyway, the Jays were playing the New York Yankees. The best thing about this was that there were lots of New York fans to listen to. You gotta love New Yorkers and the way they talk. They like to stir up the Toronto fans by gently reminding us that the Jays suck (like we don't know) and that the Yankees do not. They like to order a lotta beah and eat a lotta hawt dawgs and like that. And they're not shy about telling it like it is.
It was the middle of the, oh, let's say the 7th inning, when all of the rest of my party decided to go for a cigarette break (I'm the only one who doesn't smoke - I will most probably die of lung cancer). I decided to stay in the seats and actually watch the game for a few minutes. Also, I got to watch all of the kids around me get all excited about the 7th inning stretch, and just listen to the people around me, which is always fun in a crowd that size. And I was rewarded with a great sound bite that I have repeated mercilessly ever since.
There was this little kid, I'm guessing he was about 9, and his father was sitting two rows behind me. The little kid was sitting about five rows in front of me in a vacant seat, and I'm guessing his dad told him to go down there to get a better view. But he kept coming back up to ask for stuff and his dad kept buying him things, which is why I noticed him in the first place.
While my friends were still gone there was a fly ball that came right into our section (it was like the third one of the night - I was getting pretty jumpy by then). It came right near the little boy and he naturally tried to catch it. Just then this great, huge man jumped over him and fairly crushed him to get at the ball. All I hear from behind me is "HEY, BIG MAN!! WATCH THE LITTLE MAN THEAH!! GEEZ, YA KNOW!! Did you see that? THA'S NOT RIGHT, YOU WATCH THE LITTLE ONES! Sheesh, he just jumped right on 'im. HEY RALPHIE, YOU LOOK 'IM IN THE EYE, RALPHIE! (at this point Ralphie's head snaps in the direction of the great, huge man who has returned to his seat and is not paying a bit of attention to anybody else, least of all Ralphie). THA'S A'RIGHT RALPHIE, YOU'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME!"
There are a couple of things that delighted me about witnessing this scene. Firstly, that some people actually still call their children Ralphie. I thought that went out with the 40s. What with all the Ashtons, Dylans, Conners and Bradens infesting the world these days it's nice to know that there are a few good ol' Ralphies around, too. I mean, those new names are fine and dandy, but when the shit comes down who are you going to trust your transmission to when it needs fixing, a Ralphie or a Braden?
Secondly, and more importantly, "YOU LOOK 'IM IN THE EYE, RALPHIE!" is just so damn much fun to say. Try it. Use your best New York accent. Say it with conviction, say it with pride. Say it at your next boring sales meeting, or to the bus driver as you get off at your stop. Repeat it to yourself during step aerobics class, or shout it as a friendly greeting to your neighbour over the fence. "YOU LOOK 'IM IN THE EYE, RALPHIE!" can give you the courage to send that overdone steak back, to ask that cute new employee out, or maybe even to actually look someone in the eye.
"YOU LOOK 'IM IN THE EYE, RALPHIE!" Say it today. Say it for Ralphie. Say it...for you.
Now, I'm not much of a sports fan and I find baseball boring as hell to watch. But it's fun to go with friends and to watch the spectators, the between-play entertainment, and little kids watching the game and having so much fun. (And if none of that does it for you, may I suggest some ridiculously over-priced beer?)
Anyway, the Jays were playing the New York Yankees. The best thing about this was that there were lots of New York fans to listen to. You gotta love New Yorkers and the way they talk. They like to stir up the Toronto fans by gently reminding us that the Jays suck (like we don't know) and that the Yankees do not. They like to order a lotta beah and eat a lotta hawt dawgs and like that. And they're not shy about telling it like it is.
It was the middle of the, oh, let's say the 7th inning, when all of the rest of my party decided to go for a cigarette break (I'm the only one who doesn't smoke - I will most probably die of lung cancer). I decided to stay in the seats and actually watch the game for a few minutes. Also, I got to watch all of the kids around me get all excited about the 7th inning stretch, and just listen to the people around me, which is always fun in a crowd that size. And I was rewarded with a great sound bite that I have repeated mercilessly ever since.
There was this little kid, I'm guessing he was about 9, and his father was sitting two rows behind me. The little kid was sitting about five rows in front of me in a vacant seat, and I'm guessing his dad told him to go down there to get a better view. But he kept coming back up to ask for stuff and his dad kept buying him things, which is why I noticed him in the first place.
While my friends were still gone there was a fly ball that came right into our section (it was like the third one of the night - I was getting pretty jumpy by then). It came right near the little boy and he naturally tried to catch it. Just then this great, huge man jumped over him and fairly crushed him to get at the ball. All I hear from behind me is "HEY, BIG MAN!! WATCH THE LITTLE MAN THEAH!! GEEZ, YA KNOW!! Did you see that? THA'S NOT RIGHT, YOU WATCH THE LITTLE ONES! Sheesh, he just jumped right on 'im. HEY RALPHIE, YOU LOOK 'IM IN THE EYE, RALPHIE! (at this point Ralphie's head snaps in the direction of the great, huge man who has returned to his seat and is not paying a bit of attention to anybody else, least of all Ralphie). THA'S A'RIGHT RALPHIE, YOU'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME!"
There are a couple of things that delighted me about witnessing this scene. Firstly, that some people actually still call their children Ralphie. I thought that went out with the 40s. What with all the Ashtons, Dylans, Conners and Bradens infesting the world these days it's nice to know that there are a few good ol' Ralphies around, too. I mean, those new names are fine and dandy, but when the shit comes down who are you going to trust your transmission to when it needs fixing, a Ralphie or a Braden?
Secondly, and more importantly, "YOU LOOK 'IM IN THE EYE, RALPHIE!" is just so damn much fun to say. Try it. Use your best New York accent. Say it with conviction, say it with pride. Say it at your next boring sales meeting, or to the bus driver as you get off at your stop. Repeat it to yourself during step aerobics class, or shout it as a friendly greeting to your neighbour over the fence. "YOU LOOK 'IM IN THE EYE, RALPHIE!" can give you the courage to send that overdone steak back, to ask that cute new employee out, or maybe even to actually look someone in the eye.
"YOU LOOK 'IM IN THE EYE, RALPHIE!" Say it today. Say it for Ralphie. Say it...for you.
posted by Alanis at
7:13 AM
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