This is Joe's Fault

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Tag! You're It!

I'm getting old. Know how I know? Well, for one thing, I can't seem to stay up past 11:00 on a Friday night anymore. I'm interested in sales at pharmacies. Going out after work two nights in a row is pushing it. I like a nice bowl of soup every now and then.

But the biggest giveaway that I'm getting old, is that I'm starting to be a bit frightened of teenagers or "youngsters". Yup. Might as well start calling me Granny Walker.

Not physically frightened of them per se. And certainly not philosophically frightened (we all went through our "Nobody understands me, our generation will change the world!" phase). It's just every once in a while I realize how punishingly, shockingly stupid they can be and how much energy they have, and the combination just doesn't seem to bode well for anybody.

It's like seeing a monkey playing with a hand grenade. Nameless dread.

Recently in my neighbourhood there has been a rash of vandalism. Three phrases were plastered over everything: windows and walls of businesses, white cube vans, overpasses, traffic signs, etc. Everywhere, to the point that the cute boyfriend even asked me, "what is this Cahoots thing?" Because that's what it said everwhere. "Cahoots", "Get Loose", and "Riff Raff".

Well, four guys finally got caught about a month ago. Seems the geniuses vacated their apartment and left some of the furniture there scrawled with the same tags. As if that weren't enough of a hint, though, one of the guys doing the vandalising used to be in a band called (wait for it) "Get Loose". At the time of his arrest, he had listed on his myspace page vandalism and robbery as some of his interests.

Supposedly they used to live in St. Catherines (where Get Loose failed initially) and similarly defaced much private and public property there. One assumes this failure contributed to their ensuing anger at the world, or "The Man", for keeping them down.

Two of these fine young men were arrested while performing at a show with a different band. The heavy metal punk band "Liferuiner", in fact. First reports of this case stated that they were members of this band, but this turned out to be not entirely true (they were just filling in for one show). The cops were nice enough to let the band finish their set before they went up and arrested the drummer and fill-in singer.

I went to Liferuiner's myspace page to find out more about this up and coming band and how this situation might affect them. It seems they had just kicked off their tour. Apparently, these straight edge young lads are serious about their careers and others are willing to pay them to play for them. Also, they do NOT support vandalism, however they do think that graffiti is an art form and they support art of all kinds.

So, Liferuiner fans DO NOT WORRY. The tour is still on and you'll be able to hear all your favourite Liferuining tunes in person! From the haunting and mournful "You Call Me Son, I Call You Dead"*, to the achingly soulful "A Ticket to the Pussy Crusher", Liferuiner does not disappoint.

Unless you're an old person, like me. Then disappointment is only a fraction of what you feel while watching these young people scream at you.

*Warning: this song is just awful. Truly, if you're my age or older, there's really no point in trying to listen to it. Go put on a nice Perry Como album instead. You'll thank me later.

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