This is Joe's Fault

Monday, May 26, 2008

Two Months Later...

So, okay, I took a little time off. But let me just say in my defence that I have been working like crazy at work and really have not had the time, let alone the creative energy, to write anything since before my birthday (March 31, if you wish to mark your calendars for next year).

Here is a short list of things that I have thought about writing about, though:

- My girl-crush on Amy Sedaris (I fell in love with her after purchasing all three seasons of the television show Strangers With Candy).
- How awesome the television show Strangers With Candy is.
- How much the GO Train sucks.
- My recent work trip to Chicago, and how I discovered two things:
  1. That, contrary to being as gross as it sounds, cheese popcorn and caramel popcorn mixed together tastes really good.
  2. That, contrary to ocurring only in movies, people actually use the term "college" in a derogatory way, as in "You've got a college degree and don't know how to do this simple thing?" Someone actually said that to me, and I wasn't even auditioning for a John Hughes movie at the time. I was taken aback and barely had the presence of mind to snort derisively and say through clenched teeth, "Well, I never! Come, Buffy!"

- My addiction to the British quiz show QI (stands for Quite Interesting), featuring the always marvellous Stephen Fry.
- How much the TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) sucks.
- How strange it is that Americans call university "college" instead of "university", whereas here in Canada we call university "university" and community college "college". Generally, university carries more cache, so someone accusing you of having gone to college instead of university might possibly be insulting to you. If, you know, you lived in a John Hughes movie and any of that mattered a good goddamn to anyone, as it most assuredly does not.
- How the media sucks and is stupid.
- A list of some of my favourite quotes and what about them I like (interesting only to me, I understand).
- I mean, seriously. How does my having a B.A. have any bearing on the fact that it is indeed difficult to get an umbrella back into its little sausage casing of a cover once it's been opened up? The implication is that universities offer courses on this sort of thing, e.g. "From Road Maps to Sleeping Bags: A Comprehensive Look at Re-Packaging Items Never Intended to Fit as they Did When Purchased". When really, that's so much more of a community college course. Any idiot knows that.
- Kittens are adorable, especially when stuck inside a ski boot.
- Equally adorable are puppies, also when they are stuck inside a boot.
- Anyway, how did he even know that I had a degree? Was it my lack of coveralls? The suspicious absence of a hair net? The fact that I didn't spit indoors? Man, I so should have gotten that jerk fired! That would teach him not to mess with a college girl!
- Men and women behave in ways that are comically different.
- What the deal is with airplane food.
- Yes, I have a degree. Big whoop. You want to fight about it, buddy? Besides, I suggest that you are the one who is stupid, not me.

So yeah. Those are a few of things that I've been thinking about writing about. Whether or not I actually do remains to be seen. I, for one, am excited.

1 Comments:

  • If one assumes the neanderthal can indeed read, am I right?! High five!!

    Oh, vengeance is sweet, my friends... vengeance is sweet... *rubs Skulls ring slowly and laughs ominously*

    By Blogger Alanis, at 11:53 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home