Happy New Year!
With special emphasis on the happy!
Now, I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions because, well, they're so darn easy to break and when you do, you feel awful and then dive headlong into the thing you didn't want to do because, what the hell, you're a weak-willed awful human being anyway, what's the difference, right?
No, I'm more a fan of baby steps and of working away at change as part of life on an ongoing basis. Since I'm prone to depression and the aforementioned petulant "Oh, I give up!" mindset after the slightest setback, I find it works better for me this way.
However, that doesn't mean that occasionally I can't take a moment to look at specific things that I'd like to work on. In that spirit, and in light of the fact that I have not done a Five List (TM) in simply eons, I give you:
Five Things That I Would Like To See Myself Work on This Year
1. Let's Get Physical!
I know it's probably the number one thing on most people's list of things to do for the new year, next to quitting smoking: losing weight and/or getting into shape. This is not really what I'm shooting for specifically. Sure, it's nice not to feel bloated and fat, and to be able to fit into your jeans without an elaborate scenario involving a wire hanger and a deal with the devil, but the thing I want is to just feel healthier.
Because let's face it: I ain't never been that healthy. My diet consists mainly of cheese, butter, and alcohol. Getting off my arse, putting down the mashed potatoes and wine, and getting my blood pumping can only do me good.
I started a new workout routine in September and I feel a lot better already. Not just because I've lost about 15 pounds, but because the other day we got hit with a huge pile of snow and I spent about two and half hours out shovelling. Although it was work and I struggled with it, I couldn't believe how, I don't know, strong and healthy I felt doing it. I kept waiting for the laboured breathing and uncontrollable muscle spasms that I was generally used to after five minutes of sustained exercise. It was weird!
Although it frightens me that I might start to enjoy "wholesome" activities that could be featured in a ParticipACTION ad, I must admit that not dying of a heart attack has become a goal of mine the older I get.
(Just FYI, right now my preferred method of death is a toss up between saving an adorable urchin and a litter of puppies from a life-threatening catastrophe, or accidentally being crushed between Jason Statham and Ryan Reynolds in some sort of sexy duel for my love.)
2. You Got One, Use It
A lot of people over the years have accused me of being smart (and, no, not all of them were being sarcastic). About five minutes reading this blog should put any fears of that possibility to rest, however, among some friends and family the impression remains. Maybe it's because I share some of the characteristics that typically smart people exhibit. For example, I ask the question "why" a lot, I'm a big fan of verifiable evidence, and I freely admit when I don't know or understand something.
As any truly smart person can tell you, this does not make me smart. It just makes me a lot less dumb than I could be if I were less insufferable. It doesn't make me any more able to understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity (I got about three paragraphs into the foreword and had to go lie down for a while), but it makes me better equipped to say, figure out that the email telling me I just won the Spanish lottery is a fraud. (Which is good for me, because that email one comes up a lot more than Theoretical Physics does on a daily basis anyway.)
So, the thing I'd like to work on is actually becoming smart, or at the very least, more rational. Besides, the brain is just like any other muscle in your body, the more you use it, the more flexible and strong it becomes. [Note to self: look up whether the brain is a muscle or not.]
3. The Hulk is an Idiot!
Along the same lines of trying to become more rational, another thing I'd like to work on is my tendency to become enraged over rather insignificant things. I'm a many-generationed W.A.S.P., so the instinct to deeply bury emotions like love, fear, passion, existential angst, doubt, simple joy, etc. courses through my veins as surely as does my involuntary affinity for boiled vegetables. In fact, the only acceptable emotions available to the W.A.S.P. are anger and alcohol-induced joviality.
As I don't want to take either to their natural conclusions (i.e. court-ordered anger management classes or A.A.), I thought I'd try to nip this thing in the bud, before it gets any more ridiculous than it is now.
Here is a short list of things that make me much angrier than is healthy:
- when the mouth-holes in the plastic lids on take out coffee cups align with the seam of the cup. You see, it makes the liquid pool more when I take a sip and it's a tiny bit messier than I'd like it to be.
- the fact that you can't skip over the FBI warning messages on DVDs in English... then in French. Then the disclaimers about the commentaries... in English... then French... then Spanish.
- when the toilet paper roll hangs in the "wrong" direction.
- people who ignore you if you accidentally bump into them and you say "Oh, excuse me". Seriously, they don't say ONE word. Not "it's okay", or "jerk", or even "screw you, lady". NOTHING. (I also always feel I have to get to the bottom of their silence.)
- the manufactured suspense of a prime time game show.
- the "shaky camera" phenomenon.
The list goes on, but I'm finding it hard to keep myself from getting all riled up already.
What I'd like to do is learn not to take any of these things personally, and perhaps understand that these are not things designed to have an impact on me in any real way whatsoever (except for the last two. And that makes me hate them more).
Because my life is going well in other areas, I tend to blow up the tiny inconveniences that I encounter in a day into something to rant about. If I could learn to be more sanguine about them, I feel I may be able to start expressing some of those other emotions I mentioned earlier. Who knows? A W.A.S.P. can dream, can't she?
(Actually, I think they're against that, too.)
4. Writer's Blog
As ever, I would like to be more diligent and creative in my writing. Every once in a while I look back at the beginning of my blog and wonder where all my energy and enthusiasm went. I mean, FIVE updates in ONE week? That's got to be some kind of record!
Anyway, I'd love to be able to recapture it. However, I say that pretty much every post, so I guess we'll see...
5. Happy Girl More
The older I get the more I understand that there really is only one thing I can control in this world, and that is my reaction to it. (I know that's such a hackneyed thing to say and it has probably been embroidered on many a throw pillow in its day, but that doesn't make it any less true.)
I've had quite a few concrete examples of my being able to change my attitude about a person or situation, so I cannot dismiss it any more. It's difficult, yes, but not impossible. And I'm not talking about self delusion ("I absolutely LOVE my shitty job!"), more about looking for more than is the easiest to see ("maybe quitting my job isn't the answer, maybe I just need to approach it differently"). It helps to surround yourself with people who are good at it themselves if you can, this is the sort of thing that is contagious - as contagious as being a miserable cuss is, in fact.
Anyway, that's what I'd like to continue to work on: being happy. Appreciating the wonderful things that I have while I have them, and not taking the crappy stuff too seriously. Being able to change the crappy stuff that happens in life is not always attainable for us mere mortals, but changing the way we feel about it is at least within our grasp (perhaps much harder to do, but still).
I always find watching something funny helps keep the morale up, too. Here's something that I rediscovered the other day from my childhood that always makes me smile. I hope it does the same for you (not completely safe for work as there is some swearing). Lovely Gilda, we miss you.
In any event, there's my Five List, the first of 2008. Here's to many more!
Now, I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions because, well, they're so darn easy to break and when you do, you feel awful and then dive headlong into the thing you didn't want to do because, what the hell, you're a weak-willed awful human being anyway, what's the difference, right?
No, I'm more a fan of baby steps and of working away at change as part of life on an ongoing basis. Since I'm prone to depression and the aforementioned petulant "Oh, I give up!" mindset after the slightest setback, I find it works better for me this way.
However, that doesn't mean that occasionally I can't take a moment to look at specific things that I'd like to work on. In that spirit, and in light of the fact that I have not done a Five List (TM) in simply eons, I give you:
Five Things That I Would Like To See Myself Work on This Year
1. Let's Get Physical!
I know it's probably the number one thing on most people's list of things to do for the new year, next to quitting smoking: losing weight and/or getting into shape. This is not really what I'm shooting for specifically. Sure, it's nice not to feel bloated and fat, and to be able to fit into your jeans without an elaborate scenario involving a wire hanger and a deal with the devil, but the thing I want is to just feel healthier.
Because let's face it: I ain't never been that healthy. My diet consists mainly of cheese, butter, and alcohol. Getting off my arse, putting down the mashed potatoes and wine, and getting my blood pumping can only do me good.
I started a new workout routine in September and I feel a lot better already. Not just because I've lost about 15 pounds, but because the other day we got hit with a huge pile of snow and I spent about two and half hours out shovelling. Although it was work and I struggled with it, I couldn't believe how, I don't know, strong and healthy I felt doing it. I kept waiting for the laboured breathing and uncontrollable muscle spasms that I was generally used to after five minutes of sustained exercise. It was weird!
Although it frightens me that I might start to enjoy "wholesome" activities that could be featured in a ParticipACTION ad, I must admit that not dying of a heart attack has become a goal of mine the older I get.
(Just FYI, right now my preferred method of death is a toss up between saving an adorable urchin and a litter of puppies from a life-threatening catastrophe, or accidentally being crushed between Jason Statham and Ryan Reynolds in some sort of sexy duel for my love.)
2. You Got One, Use It
A lot of people over the years have accused me of being smart (and, no, not all of them were being sarcastic). About five minutes reading this blog should put any fears of that possibility to rest, however, among some friends and family the impression remains. Maybe it's because I share some of the characteristics that typically smart people exhibit. For example, I ask the question "why" a lot, I'm a big fan of verifiable evidence, and I freely admit when I don't know or understand something.
As any truly smart person can tell you, this does not make me smart. It just makes me a lot less dumb than I could be if I were less insufferable. It doesn't make me any more able to understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity (I got about three paragraphs into the foreword and had to go lie down for a while), but it makes me better equipped to say, figure out that the email telling me I just won the Spanish lottery is a fraud. (Which is good for me, because that email one comes up a lot more than Theoretical Physics does on a daily basis anyway.)
So, the thing I'd like to work on is actually becoming smart, or at the very least, more rational. Besides, the brain is just like any other muscle in your body, the more you use it, the more flexible and strong it becomes. [Note to self: look up whether the brain is a muscle or not.]
3. The Hulk is an Idiot!
Along the same lines of trying to become more rational, another thing I'd like to work on is my tendency to become enraged over rather insignificant things. I'm a many-generationed W.A.S.P., so the instinct to deeply bury emotions like love, fear, passion, existential angst, doubt, simple joy, etc. courses through my veins as surely as does my involuntary affinity for boiled vegetables. In fact, the only acceptable emotions available to the W.A.S.P. are anger and alcohol-induced joviality.
As I don't want to take either to their natural conclusions (i.e. court-ordered anger management classes or A.A.), I thought I'd try to nip this thing in the bud, before it gets any more ridiculous than it is now.
Here is a short list of things that make me much angrier than is healthy:
- when the mouth-holes in the plastic lids on take out coffee cups align with the seam of the cup. You see, it makes the liquid pool more when I take a sip and it's a tiny bit messier than I'd like it to be.
- the fact that you can't skip over the FBI warning messages on DVDs in English... then in French. Then the disclaimers about the commentaries... in English... then French... then Spanish.
- when the toilet paper roll hangs in the "wrong" direction.
- people who ignore you if you accidentally bump into them and you say "Oh, excuse me". Seriously, they don't say ONE word. Not "it's okay", or "jerk", or even "screw you, lady". NOTHING. (I also always feel I have to get to the bottom of their silence.)
- the manufactured suspense of a prime time game show.
- the "shaky camera" phenomenon.
The list goes on, but I'm finding it hard to keep myself from getting all riled up already.
What I'd like to do is learn not to take any of these things personally, and perhaps understand that these are not things designed to have an impact on me in any real way whatsoever (except for the last two. And that makes me hate them more).
Because my life is going well in other areas, I tend to blow up the tiny inconveniences that I encounter in a day into something to rant about. If I could learn to be more sanguine about them, I feel I may be able to start expressing some of those other emotions I mentioned earlier. Who knows? A W.A.S.P. can dream, can't she?
(Actually, I think they're against that, too.)
4. Writer's Blog
As ever, I would like to be more diligent and creative in my writing. Every once in a while I look back at the beginning of my blog and wonder where all my energy and enthusiasm went. I mean, FIVE updates in ONE week? That's got to be some kind of record!
Anyway, I'd love to be able to recapture it. However, I say that pretty much every post, so I guess we'll see...
5. Happy Girl More
The older I get the more I understand that there really is only one thing I can control in this world, and that is my reaction to it. (I know that's such a hackneyed thing to say and it has probably been embroidered on many a throw pillow in its day, but that doesn't make it any less true.)
I've had quite a few concrete examples of my being able to change my attitude about a person or situation, so I cannot dismiss it any more. It's difficult, yes, but not impossible. And I'm not talking about self delusion ("I absolutely LOVE my shitty job!"), more about looking for more than is the easiest to see ("maybe quitting my job isn't the answer, maybe I just need to approach it differently"). It helps to surround yourself with people who are good at it themselves if you can, this is the sort of thing that is contagious - as contagious as being a miserable cuss is, in fact.
Anyway, that's what I'd like to continue to work on: being happy. Appreciating the wonderful things that I have while I have them, and not taking the crappy stuff too seriously. Being able to change the crappy stuff that happens in life is not always attainable for us mere mortals, but changing the way we feel about it is at least within our grasp (perhaps much harder to do, but still).
I always find watching something funny helps keep the morale up, too. Here's something that I rediscovered the other day from my childhood that always makes me smile. I hope it does the same for you (not completely safe for work as there is some swearing). Lovely Gilda, we miss you.
In any event, there's my Five List, the first of 2008. Here's to many more!
posted by Alanis at
4:07 PM
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