tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50973202012-01-20T03:59:17.916-06:00Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.comBlogger1901100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-24441484848824638652010-11-11T05:06:00.002-06:002010-11-20T08:23:23.422-06:00

When I was about thirteen years old I joined the Royal Canadian Army Cadets. I'm not sure why, probably because a few of my friends had done so and said it was cool (you get to shoot big-ass guns!), and my oldest sister had joined the Canadian Air Force a few years earlier. I was curious as to what it was all about, and I was young and impressionable at the time. (I also tried smoking and

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-6178650700535171222010-02-07T10:32:00.015-06:002010-02-07T20:50:14.396-06:00

The other day I received an automated email from the Government of Ontario Transit System, or the GO Train, which I ride twice daily, five times a week. For once, it was not a notification of a cancellation or service disruption. This time it was a message about a contest they are having:"In celebration of Valentine’s Day, we want to hear your stories of love. In 150 words or less, tell us how

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-56901340321635298772009-03-24T06:00:00.000-05:002009-03-24T06:36:05.917-05:00

The other day I was riding the GO Train, and on one of the walls I spied a poster for U2's newest album "No Line on the Horizon". My keen powers of observation did not stop there, however. While closely perusing the poster, I happened to notice something that no one else has ever noticed before: the members of U2 are getting a bit long in the tooth. "Aha!" thought I. "A fresh avenue of comedy to

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-38590455287699595322009-03-10T11:47:00.005-05:002009-03-15T14:18:12.614-05:00

Hey guys, sorry I've not been around for *looks at watch* about five months. But you know how it is. Life gets busy, the endless winter sucks what little energy you had out of you, your meager brain runs out of any sort of creative ideas, and you blame the economy (and the Bush administration) for everything. It's the old, old story. Anyway, this is not really a new update, as Bush and his

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-3566333283852207782008-10-06T06:38:00.006-05:002008-10-06T07:56:27.758-05:00

Picture it: Windsor, Ontario in the early 1990's. A young woman in the first flush of youth turns on her television to engage in a little passive entertainment. Perhaps to gaze dreamily at Chris in the Morning, or to giggle guiltily at that Corky kid. Suddenly, she spies a channel she's never seen before. It's a channel with music videos playing. Intriguing!Is it MuchMusic (folks might know it as

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-28630894609699433242008-09-30T05:30:00.000-05:002008-09-30T06:22:03.382-05:00

So I've started dabbling in video, especially since I found out my camera has time lapse ability on it. Ooh, boy, are you in trouble.So here's my first attempt. My friends and I had a good time this past Friday night, as we are a wild and crazy bunch of women. Look out ladies of Sex in the City, you've got some real competition!I don't expect you to give a rodent's nether regions about this, but

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-35951396558400171132008-09-24T07:33:00.000-05:002008-09-24T08:53:49.180-05:00

Do you want to be popular? Revered by strangers, admired by co-workers, adored by friends and family? Sure, we all do! But how? How? That is the million-dollar question, baby.Shocked that not one person has ever stepped up to fill this gaping societal hole, we here at This is Joe's Fault have taken it upon ourselves to do that very thing. Our crack team of analysts have spent back-breaking hours

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-22349737237239152982008-09-23T20:49:00.002-05:002008-09-23T21:21:25.516-05:00

...I've got no funny story. It turns out the complicated thing I was trying to do turned into an even bigger complicated thing and now I'm mired in computer issues and have begun to re-evaluate my whole system. And the post I was writing up is not getting any funnier for the wait, sadly.So, I'm thinking I may have to just scrap it for the time being and skip to something else. But I'll put

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-6951968339199854802008-09-14T20:58:00.007-05:002008-09-14T21:55:20.068-05:00

Yes, I'm still alive. No, I haven't updated in a good, long while. I aim to rectify that shortly.In fact, I started working on something this weekend, but the simple little thing I started to do turned into this huge complicated thing, and well. Now it might take me a few more days. That is life, though. You know?Stay tuned to this station for upcoming news and info! In the meantime, please enjoy

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-30168073259164657652008-06-25T19:27:00.002-05:002008-06-25T19:40:27.577-05:00

No real update, but I think you need to watch this video.http://www.vimeo.com/1211060It's very reassuring to know that everybody loves to be goofy. Maybe the world isn't in as much trouble as we thought.

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-84701718246856916172008-06-14T12:24:00.005-05:002008-06-15T21:08:11.642-05:00

I'm getting old. Know how I know? Well, for one thing, I can't seem to stay up past 11:00 on a Friday night anymore. I'm interested in sales at pharmacies. Going out after work two nights in a row is pushing it. I like a nice bowl of soup every now and then. But the biggest giveaway that I'm getting old, is that I'm starting to be a bit frightened of teenagers or "youngsters". Yup. Might as well

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-51536233166385956622008-05-26T09:00:00.000-05:002008-05-26T09:00:03.564-05:00

So, okay, I took a little time off. But let me just say in my defence that I have been working like crazy at work and really have not had the time, let alone the creative energy, to write anything since before my birthday (March 31, if you wish to mark your calendars for next year).Here is a short list of things that I have thought about writing about, though:- My girl-crush on Amy Sedaris (I

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-74130303584912034072008-03-16T21:34:00.001-05:002008-11-13T00:40:07.583-06:00

Warning: If you are religious, and blasphemy seriously bothers you, I suggest you skip this post. (Let's face it, it's probably not going to be that good anyway.) These are all meant to be cheeky, but they may offend you. Come back next week when I'll probably be talking about how the GO Train sucks or something. I am an atheist, and I have been for a while now. Used to be a believer as a kid,

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-56233585722950796822008-02-08T22:29:00.000-06:002008-02-09T15:47:47.719-06:00

Attention unsuspecting American audience: Meet the newest hilarious Canadian personality that you will soon steal and pretend like he has always been your own (i.e. pay him a living wage for his talent.)His name is Jon Dore, and I predict he will be the next Kid in the Hall to invade your shores.The premise of his show is that in each episode he deals with a situation (such as trying to quit

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-39974100623765845282008-01-21T09:48:00.000-06:002008-11-13T00:40:07.907-06:00

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.- Richard Feynman, super-smart physicist dudeMr. Feynman may have been talking about scientific experimentation when he uttered the above, but I feel it's something that can be applied to other aspects of our lives. Take emails, for example.Ah, email! I do love it so. Unfortunately, as I've learned

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-54877638065208170472008-01-14T07:00:00.000-06:002008-01-14T06:35:38.476-06:00

Ah, I love a nice, clean house. I suppose I'd love it even more if I wasn't the one who had to clean it, but still. It's wonderful to relax in it knowing that if Oprah or the guy you had a crush on in high school just happened to knock on your door, you could welcome them into your home with aplomb.Even though the work level is split pretty evenly at my house, I still whine about having to clean.

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-11463679986547639602008-01-07T08:51:00.000-06:002008-11-13T00:40:08.043-06:00

The other day I stumbled across the Windsor Public Library site. At first I was impressed to see them having come so far from the time when I had to frequent their hallowed nooks as a student, lo those many years ago. (This was in the prehistoric days before computers, you understand, when you needed to use a thing called a "card catalogue" if you wanted to find a book. Although back then there

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-62156946504462431742008-01-01T16:07:00.000-06:002008-01-01T21:10:24.585-06:00

With special emphasis on the happy!Now, I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions because, well, they're so darn easy to break and when you do, you feel awful and then dive headlong into the thing you didn't want to do because, what the hell, you're a weak-willed awful human being anyway, what's the difference, right?No, I'm more a fan of baby steps and of working away at change as part of life on

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-71889218597515576782007-12-22T21:26:00.000-06:002008-11-13T00:40:08.309-06:00

They say that it is better to give than to receive. Well, from personal experience, I think they may be right.Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, my mom was given a gift by a neighbour. It was a gift so hideous, and yet so earnestly given, that she of course had to accept it graciously, and with a straight face. Not only that, but it was a one-of-a-kind handmade hideous gift, and my mother

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-66742973099020218472007-11-20T20:58:00.000-06:002007-11-21T06:32:23.009-06:00

Naming your charitable organization has got to be a tough thing to do. You want it to be descriptive, emotive and special. Hell, Bill and Melinda Gates probably spent a billion dollars alone on finding just the right name for theirs.Other charities, however, don't have deep enough pockets for expensive branding excercises, so they have to scrape by as best they can with their own imaginations.

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-5475042776581134122007-10-15T07:42:00.000-05:002008-11-13T00:40:09.710-06:00

In lieu of an actual post, please accept this screen shot of my Rogers/Yahoo home page newsfeed.This is what happens when you let interns match the stock photography with the story.

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-71083588358075051482007-08-27T19:47:00.000-05:002007-08-27T20:33:20.802-05:00

This past Thursday was a fairly special day at work. There were going to be visitors from out of town and I was part of a committee to organize an after-work soiree. I decided to wear heels. Not particularly high heels or anything, just your average "from work to evening" type jobbies.On the way into the office I planned to stop and get some milk at one of the markets in the underground city that

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-48714813352009045292007-08-20T12:04:00.000-05:002007-08-20T11:49:23.515-05:00

Lately I've become enamoured with jazz singer Blossom Dearie. (And yes, that's her actual birth name.) She's got this awesome improbable voice that I have fallen in love with, although it took me a little while. She can be an acquired taste.However, you might already be in love with it and don't know it.How is that if you've never heard her sing? Well, if you grew up with the excellent School

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-5430593855399875522007-08-10T07:30:00.000-05:002007-08-10T07:35:13.465-05:00

Stop giving starlets driver's licences. That is all.

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-79969980147929108262007-08-02T07:30:00.000-05:002007-08-01T18:47:14.916-05:00

[A letter of some importance from a purely hypothetical person.]Dear makers of the movie poster for the upcoming motion picture Underdog:Well done guys! Great poster! Fantastic tag line! Satan must be soooo proud!Yes, that's right, I said Satan. Your evil tricks can't fool me. I saw through your cunning word play right away. (Oh please, don't even try to tell me that you're NOT all

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-76789935387021988832007-07-28T14:07:00.000-05:002008-11-13T00:40:10.619-06:00

So, playing on Facebook this weekend prompted me to go through some old stuff trying to find pictures that would embarrass my school chums and me. In so doing, I came across some baby things of mine that my Mom had given me a few years back. I hadn't really read any of it before, but when I finally did, two books got my attention.In fact, I learned a couple things that I thought I'd share with

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-69577253120023074322007-07-26T18:58:00.000-05:002007-07-26T19:59:52.781-05:00

So today I was riding on the train and I saw a billboard that reminded me of a commercial I used to like. The tv ad was of the cutest little boy in the world and his adorable puppy. Do you remember it? Or maybe it was just Canadian?You know the one I mean, where the little boy opens the dog food every morning, and every morning the dog scrambles to the kitchen, slips on the floor and wipes out

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-58711260730001136452007-07-21T12:30:00.001-05:002007-07-23T21:06:34.612-05:00

I'm frustrated, dear reader. I know you understand this feeling.I assure you that I've been writing the last two months. I've been reading and writing and thinking a lot lately. The only problem is, that none of it has been particularly...fruitful, I guess. Or entertaining. And while it shouldn't really be a big deal to write something serious once in a while, it seems to be really hard right now

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1249367915906956952007-06-19T11:52:00.000-05:002007-06-19T19:14:30.797-05:00

...from reasoning!Got some free time this summer? Sick of using your brain to do that pesky "thinking" thing? Got children you want to thoroughly confuse? Then come on down to the newest place to kill time in the Canadian prairies: The Big Valley Creation Science Museum!Take a stroll back in time when dinosaurs and humans hung out together (The Flintstones was right!!). When Darwin was a preacher

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-38103582148439616992007-05-07T07:47:00.000-05:002008-11-13T00:40:10.800-06:00

My mother is a lovely, special person who I am convinced is from another planet. Oh, she looks like one of us, and sounds like one of us, but there are very subtle differences that give her game away.For example, she insists that she doesn't understand emoticons. No matter how I explain that a colon and an end bracket is meant to be a sideways smiley face, she just stares blankly at the screen

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-25870697683386490922007-05-02T13:00:00.000-05:002008-11-13T00:40:10.996-06:00

I took this snapshot of my Rogers/Yahoo email homepage yesterday. Apparently the person who picks the stories to upload has either a keen sense of humour, or Attention Deficit Disorder.I'll let the poignant juxtaposition speak for itself.

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-62821901802240576992007-04-26T11:01:00.000-05:002007-04-26T11:32:07.903-05:00

New Class G planet found. Gene Roddenberry high-fives Jules Verne in Hell.In related news, shortly after this item was released to the press, the world's most powerful electron microphone picked up a very faint sound from the direction of Gliese 581. Scientist couldn't be sure, but said it sounded an awful lot like a million voices muttering to themselves "Glorx zarn it! Dwarf Earthicans, that's

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-90179181286300431392007-04-23T09:26:00.000-05:002007-04-23T08:31:45.623-05:00

So, the other day I was standing at the elevators, readying myself for the journey home. I had my iPod headphones in and was waiting quietly for the magic box to take me 24 flights down.A few seconds later, a young man I've never seen before came around the corner from another part of the office and began waiting beside me. He was in his late twenties I'd say, dressed very bank-appropriately (

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-26961715026735542932007-04-19T09:00:00.000-05:002007-04-19T09:04:44.662-05:00

Last night a friend and I were walking to the train station after drinks downtown with the co-workers. Just then, a thin, black Santa passed by and shared with us (and other passersby) this gift:"Ladies, if you truly love your husbands, you'll scratch that itch in his buttcrack!"Wise words indeed. Won't you take them to your heart, as we did ours?After all, in these dark times, it is important to

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-69781619955520814592007-04-16T12:22:00.000-05:002007-04-16T11:24:06.077-05:00

I haven't updated for a while because some sad life stuff has happened recently and I haven't really been in the mood. And even though I'm hoping you will accept it as such, that is really no excuse. So I've been attempting to buck up.I always find that a good way to change your poopy mood is to watch a very silly movie. The best silly movies to watch are ones that:1. Not everyone has heard of.2.

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-45000349575816938582007-02-26T17:07:00.000-06:002008-11-13T00:40:11.110-06:00

God bless the small businessperson! Not only do they keep Canada's economy chugging merrily along, but their attempts at advertising are a real source of amusement for us all. The first time I noticed this was years ago back in Windsor, well before I had seen the evils of advertising first hand. The small food kiosk I visited every day had put up a handmade flier that proudly proclaimed: "

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-5568494742080768132007-02-14T13:04:00.000-06:002008-11-13T00:40:19.935-06:00

It's been a long time since I've had to worry about getting a Valentine in the envelope on my desk (or, more to the point, NOT getting one). Luckily, today at our office we engaged in just such a cruel ritual, only now it's not cruel, no. It's under the guise of being kitschy and fun!!1 And everyone must participate! Yay!Ah, but what the heck. I'm not bitter. However, I didn't feel like shelling

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-21052772841039199882007-02-03T19:13:00.000-06:002008-11-13T00:40:20.251-06:00

Everyone likes to think that they're cool. Even if you're pretty sure you're a nerd, sometimes in the comfort of your bedroom while dancing to your favourite music, or in public when you uncharacteristically say the perfect thing at the perfect time, it occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, you are cool.Then you come across a birthday card from your mid-twenties that was made for you by one of

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-67020554715827030112007-01-31T20:44:00.000-06:002007-01-31T21:27:03.616-06:00

I received this email the other day:From: "George Stephens"To: george_stephens001@yahoo.comSubject: Thanks in AnticipationMy Good Friend,Compliments. My name is Mr. George Stephens, and I work as an accountant in a bank:I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business. Though, this medium (Internet) has been greatly abused, I choose to reach you through it because it still remains

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-18773484008305540882007-01-29T12:19:00.000-06:002007-01-29T11:48:31.719-06:00

Last year around this time the cute boyfriend and I went to Puerto Plata in the Dominican. Unfortunately for us, it was not the best week weather-wise, so we had to spend a few rainy days just lying in our room watching television. (Although, it was kind of nice because we didn't really feel guilty about just being vegetables and we kinda wanted to just lay around watching tv anyway.)They played

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-72036527113717871722007-01-26T08:12:00.000-06:002007-01-26T08:44:01.380-06:00

Good onya, mate! Happy Aussie Day!Grab a Foster's and a barbied shrimp and watch out for crocs, ya bastard! Rent a Yahoo Serious movie (there's only one that I'm aware of), practice your "That's not a knife, this is a knife" line on strangers, and generally Celebrate what's great!But just remember, watch out for roos!

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-59614796430435432772007-01-24T19:27:00.000-06:002008-11-13T00:40:20.519-06:00

So, this week cute boyfriend and I officially became home owners. What's that you say? "But Alanis, you've had the house since August!" This is true gentle reader, but it was really only this past Sunday is when it actually began to feel like we owned a house.Why? Well, it's because that's the day we discovered the boiler that heats the house was leaking irreparably, and we would have to pay

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-52048242810418628582007-01-17T07:09:00.000-06:002007-01-17T21:11:37.269-06:00

Today I was strolling along on the internet, surfing for various whatnots, when I happened upon a site that took me by surprise.Now, I wouldn't say I was the best at the conversation, but I'm confident enough in my ability to talk small that, thankfully, I don't need a course like this to help me out.However, I realize that not all people are comfortable when in a party setting. I also know that

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-31283613639382689052007-01-10T07:06:00.000-06:002007-01-09T20:36:42.195-06:00

Hi, quick post. I don't know which of these articles gives me the willies more:Gah-yeeaagh!Sweet screaming Moses!I don't know. I think the scorpion one is scarier, because I can at least picture it actually happening to me...

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-57221151647779586072007-01-09T06:17:00.000-06:002008-11-13T00:40:21.071-06:00

A little while ago I was leafing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue and I noticed something. No, not that I instantly felt fat, ugly, hideously unsexy, and generally disinclined to purchase any of the expensive teeny-tiny clothing that the corporation was presumably hoping I'd buy. (It's a weird business model, to be sure.)No, what I noticed was that one model in particular looked to me in

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-75088420927983403862007-01-04T21:00:00.000-06:002007-01-04T21:20:59.507-06:00

I found an online article about the Positive Psychology scientists a few months ago, but I haven't done anything with it til now. So I hope you don't think I stole the theme for this week.I'm not the only person to think about happiness and it's pursuit. The American Founding Fathers, Will Smith, and Ze Frank are just three examples of others who have had struggled with this topic as well.I

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-90374995094672758322007-01-03T17:26:00.000-06:002007-01-03T17:57:11.413-06:00

A few months ago I had the incredible good fortune to be sent an amazing offer to my hotmail account, by a total stranger no less! It's taken me a while to compose my response, I didn't want to blow this once in a lifetime opportunity. I'll show you the initial email and then my response. I plan to send it off tomorrow. Let me know what you think.From: Mr. Song LileSubject: PLEASE CONTACT ME (

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-50585775212175345042007-01-02T20:16:00.000-06:002007-01-02T21:21:35.305-06:00

Happy New Year, everyone! I really mean that.Happy.Happiness. What the heck is it, and how do you get more of it? Well, I sure as heck don't know, but I feel better knowing that scientists are on the case. As we all know, scientists will fix everything in due course (thank goodness we don't have to worry about that pesky greenhouse effect any more!) I mean, if they perfected the two-minute

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-35275660960747856402006-12-05T19:48:00.000-06:002006-12-05T20:19:58.162-06:00

Yo, yo, yo kiddies! Who's the awesomest, most cutting edge, right jolly old elf in the blogosphere? You guessed it! Seems the S-man himself has gotten a myspace account and is chronicling his lead-up to the big day.But don't worry, it isn't filled with angst-ridden rants about reindeer who just don't understand him and Mrs. S who is totally on his back, like, ALL the time. It's pretty innocent,

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-62156829455102794872006-11-28T07:28:00.000-06:002006-11-27T22:08:02.887-06:00

I thought that before department stores and easy listenin' stations utterly kill my desire to hear holiday tunes at all I'd spend a few minutes talking about my favourites. And just to make it extra special, I thought I'd throw it into a patented Five List®!Five of My Very Favourite Christmas SongsMerry Fecking ChristmasYou've got to love any Christmas song that starts with the line "It was

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-10754198322055018042006-11-23T06:59:00.000-06:002006-11-22T20:40:27.567-06:00

Caution: some links contain sound and may not be safe for work.It is getting to be sooo hard to be part of the dominant race these days. Nobody understands. Well, except the rest of the white people in the world (which is diminishing every single day, by the way). Everyone is just sooo eager to jump on any little thing that we do.I mean, we try to be nice. We try to be inclusive. We even go so

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-59184867353009081762006-11-21T07:12:00.000-06:002006-11-20T21:00:00.077-06:00

That's what they say. Just take a look at the Big J.C. Left his home town one day a bastard carpenter, a few years later shows up claiming to be the Almighty Son of God. And what did his friends, family and neighbours say? Well, they very understandably wanted to put him in a nice, rubber cave for a few years.The reason I bring this up is that recently I saw something about a guy I knew in high

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-89465019080269887212006-11-20T05:31:00.000-06:002006-11-19T19:01:11.128-06:00

...to the idiot behind the blogging. Yeah, well, I tried last week to update every day, and since I forgot to update the times to when I was actually POSTING it instead of when I loaded it up on the old blogger dashboard, it effectively looks like I only posted two days.Which is sooo not true. I did one a day, dammit. A full week's worth of posts! It's true! Ah, well. It's too late now, I'm not

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-23637878262383139622006-11-14T20:20:00.000-06:002006-11-17T06:23:16.216-06:00

One of the parts of my job that I really, really enjoy (and spend a disproportionate amount of my time on) is writing web polls for our company intranet. I work at a large, stuffy financial institution so I thought that on our portal we should be able to relax a bit and have a tiny bit of fun.The questions are changed weekly, so I tend to write a month's worth at a time. I spend a few hours on

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-62791360345028857562006-11-14T20:10:00.000-06:002006-11-16T06:35:14.350-06:00

Whatever happened to the Battle of the Network Stars? I remember as a little kid on Saturday nights in the summer, deep into re-run season, every once in a while there would be a summer extravaganza that promised fun, excitement and a glimpse of your favourite sitcom star in short-shorts and tight adidas t-shirts bouncing around a track. Boo-ya!Okay, sure it was lame, but it must have been nice

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-5467364282572011272006-11-14T19:14:00.000-06:002006-11-14T19:49:15.956-06:00

(I know I said I was going to use up old posts that were lying around, but I actually wrote this today. If it helps, I didn't really edit it.)I'm no rabid environmentalist, but it's enough with the plastic bags already. Sure they're useful, but they seem to multiply like rabbits and I find I'm overrun with them. So I try to reuse them when I can, and refuse them whenever possible. But no matter

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1163473504616651002006-11-13T20:40:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:41:44.574-06:00

When I was a kid I watched The Neverending Story over and over and over again (we got the Movie Network on cable just when the movie was popular - that and The Last Starfighter, which I also watched to death). If I recall correctly, there's a part in it where the hero in the story has to pass between the two Sphinxes. This is perilous because he has to be believe in himself the whole time, no

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1163421631498621122006-11-13T06:32:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:02:03.663-06:00

I of course mean, "in about a month or so". Look, life gets busy. But I've finally got my desk up and in place, so maybe now I'll have more of an impetus to write because I've actually got a place to write. You dig?What am I going to write today? Uh, I'm not sure. I've been going through some old stuff and found a few posts that I never went back to, either because I wasn't interested enough, I

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1161102906818659362006-10-17T11:28:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:03.436-06:00

I actually wrote something last week, but I did it in a hotel room and just as I went to hit "publish" my internet connection ran out and I lost about two hours of work. Yeah, I was pretty upset, too.(Although I was drinking when I wrote it, so it was probably a blessing in disguise.) So there's been lots and lots happening in my life. Owning a house is an adventure, that's for sure, but it's

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1156213141002291752006-08-21T20:34:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:03.280-06:00

I've been a long-time detractor of the Toronto Sun "paper", ever since I knew a guy who worked for them. Okay, sure, he was an ex-boyfriend, but that's not where the enmity arises, I swear. It's really the lack of any real journalistic credibility from a paper that features a picture of a new desperate buttafaced mid-thirties or barely legal woman every day between their news stories. There's

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1155603557653534922006-08-14T18:50:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:03.019-06:00

This past Friday the cute boyfriend and I got the keys to our new house (yay us!) So for about 26 hours I was immersed in house stuff: cleaning, cleaning, carrying heavy stuff, and more cleaning. Then I had the good fortune to be able to take a two-hour break, watch an absolutely fantastic bit of musical theatre, then get back at it. My friend Deborah and I got the tickets to Spamalot! yonks ago,

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1153794028686396422006-07-24T19:50:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:02.845-06:00

The Toronto Transit Commission, or the TTC, is the thing that allows me to get to and from my important work on the weekdays, and whisks me off to critical errands on the weekends. Many other people ride this incredible juggernaut of a transportation system too, and therein lies the source of many, many interesting stories. One would imagine. Or at least two sort of observation-type thingies that

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1151503011344559332006-06-28T07:50:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:02.603-06:00

Hello dear hearts and gentle readers,I have once again been remiss on the updating front. I have a good excuse, though, as the cute boyfriend and I are now homeowers. (No, that ain't a typo. Since we could not afford to just slap down the full purchase price of the house, we will be owing on it for about, oh, 25 years or so. And that's not alarming or daunting at all, no sirree.)Anyway, we've

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1141094714027238432006-05-29T19:54:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:00.795-06:00

...The premise holds up, I never dreamed that it ever wou-hou-hould... (That's probably the 94-thousandth rewriting of the words from the theme song from The Greatest American Hero. I'm going to go ahead and claim that it is the most clever of them all, too. What the heck, I'm feeling frisky today. It'll be my version of an unverifiable "world's greatest cup of coffee" claim.)The Greatest

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1147656515292130092006-05-14T18:43:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:02.359-06:00

Lately my iPod has been feeding me great lines. I'll be riding on the streetcar, buying something from the store, making my weary way to or from work and a singer will whisper a lyric in my ear that will make me laugh, think, or even cry. (Shut up. I can be moved by a tender lyric if I want to, jackass.) Let me share their wisdom with you as well. In this way I can hope to spread the enjoyment of

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1147089347784875652006-05-08T06:32:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:02.128-06:00

Whew! What a weekend! Firstly, I'd like to warn everyone that this is completely and utterly free for the entire world to view and enjoy and I would never request money from anyone for the, let's face it, endless pleasure you must get from reading it. So for anyone who got taken in by the "New Updates to B3st Weblog!" email that you received yesterday, I apologize and all I can say is be careful

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1146484250498869152006-05-01T06:24:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:01.934-06:00

This post brought to you by the Council of Nervous Wreck Homebuyers in Greater Toronto. Which is just my way of saying that I am in the midst of buying a house in greater Toronto, and therefore was busy these past couple of weeks 1. Looking at houses, 2. Meeting with real estate professionals 3. Trying to understand real estate contractual terms 4. Making huge life decisions with my cute

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1145447254910633632006-04-19T06:43:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:02:01.737-06:00

That is what is happening (or rather not happening) here. I'm taking the rest of this month off and then will be back, with some stuff that I think you'll like. So come back in May and there'll be whackiness and fun!Yay!Yours lazily,Alanis

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1142445825515891422006-03-15T11:39:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:02:01.473-06:00

Happy St. Patrick's day from "This is Joe's Fault" to you and yourn! As a special treat, please enjoy this tasty little tidbit that I found on the web recently. Not since a young, black-haired and creepy-looking Sean Connery affected an "Irish" accent in Darby O'Gill and the Little People has the Legend of the Leprechaun been so cornily delightful. I'm hoping that on Friday they at least have a

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1141961269699543582006-03-09T19:21:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:02:01.303-06:00

If He hadn't been crucified and then gloriously arisen from the dead, none of this would be possible...First, this.Then, that.How can a loving God let this kind of controversy befall the wife of the most powerful man in the greatest superpower this world has ever known? Why doesn't He, in His Infinite Beneficence, not just smite all of the natural or adopted children of the fags, all of the fags,

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1141706993382465122006-03-06T22:12:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:02:01.014-06:00

A'ight, here's the deal: I've been busy with stuff lately. The cute boyfriend and I are preparing to go on a fabulous vacation at the end of the month, I've had one-roommate-too-many issues, and I'm looking into buying my own house or something soon. Not to mention the whole full-time-job thing. If I were a high powered executive using trite phrases, I'd say "I've got a lot on my plate right now"

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1140490822608205032006-02-20T19:40:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:02:00.570-06:00

Hi there. Sorry about no post last week, but I was out of town on business. Then I got stuck another day and, well, there just wasn't time. This week I thought I'd talk about something that the people around me are sick to death of hearing about. It's pretty controversial, so I hope you're ready for some serious debating material. Bring it up at your next pub/bar night or cocktail party! Watch

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1139273060452696832006-02-06T22:36:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:02:00.364-06:00

Hello again! And a belated "Kung hei fat choi" to you all! (Or "Congratulations and be Prosperous" to those who aren't familiar with the Chinese New Year greeting.) You may ask yourself, Why is this year so special to Alanis? She didn't give a good gosh-darn last year. Well, that's because this year is my year. The year of the Dog. Woof!And while I don't believe in astrology or horoscopes, ever

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1137988848264967082006-01-22T21:00:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:59.921-06:00

So the other day I was perusing one of the free dailies that is put out by one of the city's crap papers. I get it to complete the crossword during the fifteen to twenty minute streetcar ride to work and back. Unfortunately, it usually takes me less than forty minutes to complete it so there are times when it have to resort to actually reading it. Anyway, on Friday I looked in the travel section

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1137415901721728182006-01-20T06:36:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:59.504-06:00

As most of you who read This is Joe's Fault already know, "I'm a me-too product, and I don't care who knows it!" In re-making the look of the site I thought I'd think up a new tagline. But then I got caught up in fiddling around with the tech side and promptly forgot all about it. Quickly I snapped into Marketing Mode and came up with a proactive new post title that I felt best leveraged the core

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1137587174471890502006-01-18T06:17:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:59.748-06:00

I've got an update for this week, however, I've been feeling a little... same-y lately, so I'm going to look at revamping the old blog. Now, you know how I am with the technical aspect of the internet, so it might not be the best right out of the box and may take a try or two before I nail it. Do you think I'm just going to hit "New Template" and that'll be that? Do you really think I care so

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1137041081126102692006-01-11T20:22:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:59.347-06:00

So Canada's in the midst of election fever. Our government needs changing, and we good citizens have to step up and do our, um, duty. I'm not much of a one for politics. All of my views are ill-informed and sarcastic, seeing as my two main sources for political news are satirical. If it weren't for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Frank Magazine, it's doubtful that I'd know even the little

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1135984891151846512005-12-30T13:40:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:59.150-06:00

Me: Hi-diddly-ho, neglect-arinos! I'm back! You: Well, well, well. Look who's come crawling back to the internet like the cowardly dog she is. What, did the world somehow run out of booze and pills or something?Me: Hey, don't be that way. I know it's been a while, but you know, I've been really busy with stuff. I really missed you... ?You: Balls!Me: Whoa, language. This isn't a pool room, you

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1128389813968747652005-10-03T19:57:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:58.950-06:00

I freely admit it. I was supposed to update on Friday and I didn't. Hence my suckitudity. But I'm updating today, and just to round out the learning theme I'll tell ya what I learned today. I learned that I am a very lucky person and that I'm growing up a bit, which is nice.This morning I helped a lady walk to the elevators. I don't rightly know what the problem was, if she was recovering from a

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1128045191581530902005-09-29T19:35:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:58.800-06:00

So my roommate has decided at age 37 to go to University. Not only is she going back to school, she's taking two languages that she's never spoken before. It's going to be a tough row to hoe, as they say, but she's really excited about it and up for the challenge.And now when she comes home with tales of some new thing learned or of a lively debate in class I find myself getting excited about it

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1127958557331700232005-09-28T20:10:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:58.529-06:00

Ba dum bum! I kill me. But seriously folks, I got nuthin'. Plus my cute boyfriend is over and bugging me to use the laptop to look up sports things (like I don't know it's porn. Duh.)Anyway, today I learned that there is actually a word for that uneasy feeling I get whenever I get home from work and my tummy begins to rumble. I realize that I'm going to have to cook something, or waste away to

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1127869670600024272005-09-27T19:08:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:58.293-06:00

Ah, knowledge. From the relatively simple act of brushing your hair to the almost impossible feat of distinguishing which pick-up line will get you laid and which will get you slapped, knowledge in any form is invaluable. I have always had a thirst for knowledge and every day I am rewarded with something, even if it's a very small thing, to learn.Except for today, of course. Because today I was

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1127786780092148012005-09-26T19:41:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:58.068-06:00

Bonjour mes amis. Comment ca va? Bien! Zut alors, mais c'est been a while since I've updated on a daily basis. And it's been even longer that it wasn't some holier-comme-vous sentimental horse merde, too. But all that's about to change! Oui!I've been learning just lots and lots of stuff lately. It seems, as the old saying goes, that you actually do learn something new every day. And since I've

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1126231750152063082005-09-08T19:44:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:57.856-06:00

I felt a little weird updating the other day with a lighthearted post while there is such devastation and death and human suffering going on in the southern states right now, but it's something that I had started to write before Hurricane Katrina happened, so I decided to go with it.I also feel that since I'm so far removed from it, and that since I can't even begin to wrap my head around the

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1126056705152607832005-09-06T19:14:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:57.651-06:00

Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while.I recently found this pithy, unattributed quote while flipping through a Newfoundland Celebrity Recipes cookbook. Which just goes to prove that you can never tell where you're going to find inspiration, even if it's not the exact kind you were looking for. Hello,

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1120937008200397142005-07-09T12:01:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:57.436-06:00

Lately on the message board that I hang out on we've been talking about torture, human rights, the democratic process, terrorism, war, etc. You know, your basic humour site fare. And, like most things posted on the board, it made me think.Being a Canadian I am afforded the increasingly rare luxury of being a pacifist. I am against war for a lot of reasons both political and philospophical, but I

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1118803368472502752005-06-14T19:14:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:57.181-06:00

So I've started a new job. 6 month contract at a large, boring, buttoned-down financial institution. In the marketing department. PINCH ME! Hey, a girl's gotta put the beefaroni on the table, ya know? Quit looking at me like that! At least it's provided a little bit of fun in terms of a couple head-scratching signs I've seen in the last week or so. (Yeah, that's worth 6 months of my soul. Sure.)

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1117683689352542032005-06-01T21:06:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:56.957-06:00

The other day my hair dryer died, which meant that I had to get a new one. I went to the store thinking I'd just get some plain old thing, but I little did I know what awaited me. I soon discovered that there have been serious advancements in the hairdrying field in the last few years. There is even a brand out there that finally activates anti-static ions in the hair when operating it (or it

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1115685692930139692005-05-09T19:32:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:56.691-06:00

In this day and age of call display, video phones, mind control rays etc. it's rare that you ever run into the good old fashioned prank phone call anymore. (Thank goodness nature has evolved the telemarketer to take its place.) They were annoying, sure, but sometimes they could be a lot of fun, both for prankster and prankee alike. I remember when my little hellion friends and I would dial up (

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1114793277408395482005-04-29T09:39:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:56.442-06:00

As has been mentioned before the office that I'm at now is exceptionally quiet. It does get its share of action, though, and I've been running around lately trying to meet a deadline and having to deal with 800 mostly clueless adults trying to register for continuing education classes. In the past few months I've been surprised by people simply not reading the application, leaving important

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1114276214095589272005-04-25T20:54:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:56.207-06:00

Hello again. Long time no type. I've not been around much lately as, sadly, a few weeks ago the computer gods decided that it was time to call home my old laptop, bless its poor diodes. Coincidentally, it was about the same time that JP 2.0 got recalled back to the Head Office for some reconditioning of his own. Huh. Weird.Needless to say, things were a bit up in the air for a while there. I was

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1113423193176848992005-04-13T14:45:00.000-05:002006-11-13T21:01:55.551-06:00

There is a commercial on right now for some amusement park, probably some place in the southern states that would be open now, but I can't remember the name. Anyway, it goes something like this:"Attention Workoholics:" [quick flashing scenes of amusement park fun]"It's time to fall off the wagon!!" [more quick flashing scenes of amusement park fun]"Come to [Amusement park] now for only $[

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1112290967625592132005-03-31T11:11:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:53.034-06:00

Yup, today's my 35th birthday. Woohoo for me! Going to go get me a massage over to The Great American Backrub at lunchtime, then maybe do a little shopping. After work I'm ordering pizza for me and the roommates, then we're going to get all dolled up and go dancing at The Mod Club. Oh, I'm not one of those "don't mention my birthday, I'm old!" kind of people. Or one of those "I'm not going to

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1111546077770014192005-03-29T07:56:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:52.801-06:00

The other day my cute boyfriend and I were driving around and we passed by a young person. After I finished giggling at his crazily baggy pants, down around his knees with his chunky flannel undies bulging way out over top of them, I started to wonder. I mean, we've all done stupid fashion things. Feathered hair, harem pants, backward overalls, the list goes on and on. But I couldn't seem to

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1110906524514893242005-03-16T12:25:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:52.621-06:00

The other day I girded my loins, hugged my loved ones, and steeled myself to try and watch the Michael Jackson Trial Re-enactments. Believe me, I certainly didn't want to watch it, and in fact I've been fairly successful in avoiding most of the voyeuristic tripe that has been lovingly shoved down our throats about Jacko for the past few decades. But I thought if I wanted to make fun of it, I've

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1110220633430041272005-03-07T11:37:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:52.276-06:00

That's right, folks, I've finally gotten around to stealing someone else's code in order to place some links to other sites on the old blog. Wow, and it only took me two years or so. Apologies to people who linked me and who it seemed I didn't care enough about to figure out how to link back to. It's not true. I love you all. I'll send you provocative pictures to make up for it. Promise. Anyway,

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1109129745941733882005-02-28T07:38:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:52.039-06:00

I was sick last week. Third time in as many months, and I'm telling you I'm getting tired of sounding like Lucille Ball at 70. The thing that I hate the most about getting sick is I can't sing like I normally do. Sure, the Kim Carnes and Bonnie Tyler tunes sound great, but there's only so many times you can sing "I Need a Hero" before the roommates revolt. Also, like I've said before, I usually

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1108438105333938402005-02-14T20:38:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:51.770-06:00

I guess that means I'm really missing them.Now I'm not much of a one for flowers, I can probably only name about four in total and gardening has never held the slightest interest for me, but every May I get exited about lilacs. And it's not just the time of year that they come out in, the lovely warm springtime, either. I just love to stick my head in a lilac tree and take long deep breaths. It's

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1107405106197621332005-02-04T07:45:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:51.558-06:00

"I've come to the end of me." Man, I love that line. It's so wonderfully melodramatic. Too bad I couldn't have used it three days ago so that I could have quoted the movie on the actual day. Oh well, there's always next year. Anyway, the last time we looked in the old diary I was a fresh-faced 22-year-old girl with nothing but my future and a butt-load of crappy jobs ahead of me. A year or so

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5097320.post-1107395965103666282005-02-03T07:50:00.000-06:002006-11-13T21:01:51.172-06:00

Well, long about this time my mind turned to such wonders as the occupational arts. What would I do with my life? What were my goals? Did I have some sort of plan in place? Let's watch... April 1, 1990 (age: exactly 20, plus a day) [my sister's boyfriend at the time] is never going to be happy doing the job he's doing because there's too much stress but he wants money so he's willing to put

Alanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04162505414361721146noreply@blogger.com0